Tokyo pulls plug on late-night Roppongi-Shibuya bus service

Tokyo pulls plug on late-night Roppongi-Shibuya bus service

Well, this has zero effect on me.  I was never a Roppongi party person anyway.  Back in my party days if I was in Tokyo I was in Shinjuku.  Not because I'm some cool, danger-seeking guy.  I don't know how dangerous Shinjuku is at night, really.  I'm told it's dangerous.  I may have been in a bubble of obliviousness or else people tend to over-estimate the dangers.  I've been in the middle of actual riots in the US, so there may be a subtle skewing of my sense of what's dangerous and what's not.  I never felt endangered by the elderly man who propositioned me for oral sex in Shinjuku on two different trips months apart, for example.  I certainly didn't feel endangered by the young woman who did the same my first time in Shinjuku, although when her pimp came running up I thought it best to walk away.  Allowing the guy from Boston to lead me through some back alleys in search of a nomi-hodai place was probably not my smartest moment, although he did take me to the same hostess bar where a friend of mine and I once spent $200 in an hour before depositing me at the Hub about a block from my hotel... where I drank beer and ate fried food alone.

Anyway, Roppongi has never held much appeal for me.  I've never been a "scene" person.  Even when I lived in a small town here and the scene consisted of the same 12 people, I wasn't interested.  I don't really need to be seen by others, don't feel my appearance is necessary.  My scene has always been the people I'm with and my immediate surroundings.  Wherever we are drunk--be it a parking lot outside my apartment, a smoky bar full of townies and college students, a live music venue, a sweaty, groping dance party, naked after-hours trespassing in apartment complex swimming pools or eating pancakes and sausages at IHOP at 6am as cops make a pot bust in the parking lot outside-- is my "scene."  And I've always been more in search of really solid drunkenness than a one-night hook up.  When I want to dance, I want to dance all night to rock music, not club beats.  I'm not into dressing up and using "product" or whatever.  So it usually turned out my ideal night on the town was just getting trashed on beer, eating some yakitori, then doing karaoke until 3am with some close friends.  You can probably do that in Roppongi.  I wouldn't know.  That's not my image of the place.  I'm sure I'm wrong about it.  I don't really care to find out otherwise.

Well, the last train.  I suppose a bus that takes you to Shibuya Station at 5am from Roppongi could be pretty convenient for some, but it didn't work out that way.  One that drops you off at 1am is completely useless.  There's no train.  You still have to wait.  You'd be better off back in the club, if it's still open.  Or  walking around to find one of those clubs that open after all the other ones close to cater to people who don't like to end their evenings based on train schedules.  Or taking a nap in a 24-hour Internet cafe, the kind with big comfy chairs and showers.  I've known people who had to take out of town business trips that invariably wound up with after-hours drinking parties who regularly slept over in Internet cafes.  Cheaper than a hotel room.

This leads me to wonder how the abrupt end to the partying will go over with the Olympics crowd in 2020, or if the various city governments in and around Tokyo will come up with some kind of plan.  The anti-dancing laws put a damper on the fun, too.  Another thing you can do is just stick to your ward when you're out getting wasted and hooking up.  Get you and your partner to a love hotel within easy walking distance of your meeting place.

Actually, these days my "scene" is lying in bed reading books on my Kindle while my wife does Facebook on her laptop beside me.

Sometimes you're just in the mood to ride a Hello Kitty bus

I think this was in Shinjuku.  It was last year.  The bus dazzled my eyes and did something to my mind.

Japan really does have the best toilets!

Kristin Wong, writing for the Heart Beat at Living on MSN, reports about some very special toilets in Gunma prefecture.  They're at a temple and you can flush away an unwanted marriage.  Sounds good to me.  It's one of those stereotypically hacky observations, but Japan really does lead the world in toilet technology.  And, apparently, toilet spirituality.

I haven't been to this temple, but now I'm curious enough to start thinking about a trip there.  I think it's hilarious someone has actually intended to use the religious toilets for their more material world function-- dropping off loads.  Or whizzing.  Not out of any disrespect for anyone's belief, but because of a family story, one that gets retold every few years and never fails to generate a few laughs.

Many years ago, my middle brother took a dump in a display toilet at a Sears store.  He'd only recently been potty trained and it seemed to him like a reasonable thing to do.  He probably wasn't the first kid to make that mistake, probably wasn't the last.  You put a toilet on display and sooner or later, someone's going to use it.  It's heartening to know even adults do this occasionally.  That's why you should clearly and carefully mark which toilets are for use, which are for display and which are for filing for divorce or losing weight.  Proper signage helps.

My current toilet isn't as Space Age as some I've experienced here, what with the heated seats and the washlet functions and the flushing sound effects and what have you.  The toilet in my last apartment looked ready to give Captain Kirk's command chair on the old NCC-1701 Enterprise a run for its money in terms of luxurious, highly-functional seating.  I didn't live in that apartment long enough to take advantage of all the buttons, but the heated seat made poop times a lot more comfortable during the winter.  The toilet I'm pooping in now is merely the heated seat kind, with an adjustable on-off knob.  Very simple.  Very boring.

When I first came to Japan with a group of rookie English teachers, the company that hired us put us up in a decent business hotel in Dotonbori, Osaka.  This place had the William Gibson cyber-punk toilets of every Japanophile's dreams.  My fondest memory of that weekend was when this young dude from Arkansas-- who'd recently given up a job as a homicide detective on a small town police force-- came downstairs the next morning and reported his new-found love for bidets.

"I never thought I'd use one of them," he admitted in wonderment, "but now that I have I gotta admit-- I like the bidet function.  Man, I hope they have one of those on the toilet in my apartment.  I'll definitely be using the heck out of that thing."

I'm paraphrasing, but his sentiments gave me new respect for the guy, and he was already a pretty decent person to hang out with.  I wonder whatever happened to him.  I imagine if you've been a police detective you can handle pretty much anything life throws at you, especially English conversation classes, which are some of the easiest things in the world to teach.  Get with the right school and you won't find a cushier job and you end up learning a lot about Japan, too.  It's ridiculously easy, but some do botch it.  A few months later our school hosted a guy who didn't survive the first day on the job-- and so was born a minor legend in our area-- but I'm sure the police detective did just fine.

As for me, I didn't have cause to use the bidet function on a Japanese toilet until a few years later, over a New Year's visit to Tokyo.  Hotel Listel in Shinjuku.  That was the place.  Great little business hotel, just a bit far from the station, which is why I switched to the Sakura Hotel/Hostel chain; the one I usually stay at is a stop or two down from Shinjuku station and about a 2 minute walk from Hatagaya station.

I still recommend Hotel Listel, though.  Clean, efficient rooms and an excellent breakfast buffet.  And incredible toilets.  After doing my business, I remembered my detective friend and his open-minded approach to personal hygiene and gave the bidet a whirl.  I wasn't quite as impressed, but it wasn't what I expected.  Actually, I have no idea what I expected.