A few weeks ago I characterized the crowd outside our school as a lot of bums. And bums there may be, but I've spent the last few days studying them and now I'm forced to admit most of them are the elderly.
They're probably just happy to get out of their houses on these sweltering afternoons we have here in Japan during the summer months. There's no real relief from the heat unless you're willing to turn your A/C on full power and turn your house into a self-contained Siberia, but that's an expensive option. And not as social as lounging about on a bench outside a supermarket, chatting with others your age and socio-economic status and feeding pigeons.
And sometimes playing harmonica.
The shouter-guy seems to have either moved on or else given up his attention-getting antics. Most of the people are wizened little ladies in shapeless, floral-pattern dresses. They sit hunched on the wooden benches in groups and talk about whatever it is little old ladies like to talk about here in Hamamatsu. Or else they just stare. There's always something to see. Pedestrians and bike riders, young people, businesspeople, other elderly people, pigeons and crows scavenging for crumbs. It reminds me of an earlier time I've only read about or seen in movies, when people were more social and gathered in the town center to be part of a community. Old men played checkers in the park and gossiped and old women complained about them.
And it beats sitting home and watching TV all day.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Tadpoles Over Hamamatsu!
The strange raining tadpoles phenomenon has struck right here. Apparently, on Saturday morning, June 13th, a teacher discovered a mysterious pile of about thirty or forty dead tadpoles at the illustrious all-girl Seien High School in Hamamatsu. I'm becoming more and more intrigued. Fish and tadpoles falling from the sky?
We were delighted to learn a little bit about this particular (and peculiar) incident from actual eyewitnesses, but for various reasons-- including my wandering, inattentive mind-- anecdotal details remain sketchy.
And newspaper stories contradictory. According to the rumor someone related to me, the teacher found the tadpoles on a tennis court at the school, and this is seemingly confirmed by a news report in the Mainichi Daily News. However, The Japan Times story gives an inexact figure of "more than thirty tadpoles" scattered over a large radius on a "sports field." A few of our students attend the school and at least one is currently taking the biology class of the actual teacher who found the dead amphibians. I'm sure she has some interesting information to add, but I haven't talked to her about it yet.
Since this is so obviously the work of space aliens, I hope Mulder and Scully are on the case via some Japan-United States law enforcement exchange program. Or perhaps their Japanese equivalent.
We were delighted to learn a little bit about this particular (and peculiar) incident from actual eyewitnesses, but for various reasons-- including my wandering, inattentive mind-- anecdotal details remain sketchy.
And newspaper stories contradictory. According to the rumor someone related to me, the teacher found the tadpoles on a tennis court at the school, and this is seemingly confirmed by a news report in the Mainichi Daily News. However, The Japan Times story gives an inexact figure of "more than thirty tadpoles" scattered over a large radius on a "sports field." A few of our students attend the school and at least one is currently taking the biology class of the actual teacher who found the dead amphibians. I'm sure she has some interesting information to add, but I haven't talked to her about it yet.
Since this is so obviously the work of space aliens, I hope Mulder and Scully are on the case via some Japan-United States law enforcement exchange program. Or perhaps their Japanese equivalent.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
A New Twist Has Been Added to the Miyagi Tadpole Mystery...
A 74-year-old woman in Miyagi prefecture says she actually saw tadpoles falling from the sky. That certainly deepens the mystery surrounding these piles of tadpoles and small fish. Assuming she's telling the truth-- and I have no reason to disbelieve her at this time-- it casts doubts on my "prankster hoax" theory, unless these jokers have access to relatively quiet aircraft. It's possible-- due to their commonplace nature-- an airplane or helicopter could fly over and be ignored, but who would go to such expense to rain tadpoles down on Miyagi? Could this be the work of birds or curiously selective waterspouts? This calls for some dedicated Forteans to fly themselves over here and investigate!
I'd do it myself but 1) I'm already over here and 2) I have to work for a living and my job isn't (unfortunately) "fulltime investigator of strange phenomena."
I'd do it myself but 1) I'm already over here and 2) I have to work for a living and my job isn't (unfortunately) "fulltime investigator of strange phenomena."
Friday, June 12, 2009
As Rainy Season Begins, a Mysterious Shower of Tadpoles
Rainy season officially began here in Japan on June 10th. We've been lucky in that while the season may have started, the rains themselves seem to be holding off until tomorrow or the beginning of the week. But more important than the upcoming month of almost constant downpours and frequent cockroach attacks are the reports coming in from Ishikawa prefecture of people finding dead fish and tadpoles in areas where there are no habitats for them. One hundred tadpoles in Nanao and Hakusan last week, tiny fish in Nakanoto, tadpoles again in Nanao and Wajima.
Theories? Some think birds dropped them, others speculate on water spouts or strong winds. My best guess is some human agent is involved, perhaps a lone prankster or a group of jokers (at least one expert quoted in the story agrees with me). If you remember, last November police in Osaka arrested a nutcase for releasing beetle larvae on a train to make women "get scared and shake their legs." Maybe this is the beginning of a new trend of creepy-crawly guerilla improv or performance art of some kind.
The Mystery Tadpoles of Japan, my friends.
Theories? Some think birds dropped them, others speculate on water spouts or strong winds. My best guess is some human agent is involved, perhaps a lone prankster or a group of jokers (at least one expert quoted in the story agrees with me). If you remember, last November police in Osaka arrested a nutcase for releasing beetle larvae on a train to make women "get scared and shake their legs." Maybe this is the beginning of a new trend of creepy-crawly guerilla improv or performance art of some kind.
The Mystery Tadpoles of Japan, my friends.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Hamamatsu is a Bum's Paradise
A mild climate, plenty of outdoor benches to sit on and booze it up, no laws against public alcohol consumption, lots of nooks and crannies for public urination-- if you're a lazy bum, Hamamatsu is the city for you. I'm not talking about homeless people. I'm talking about people with places to sleep and watch TV, but who'd rather hang out and drink all day and harrass passersby. The alcoholics, the shiftless, the layabouts, the good-for-nothings.
My people.
With the weather turning hot, the typical Japanese house without central air conditioning is too stifling to endure, so legions of middle-aged and elderly guys have been sitting on the benches downtown where they talk loudly, picnic, consume can after can of beer, shochu or chuhai and generally make a nuisance of themselves. There's one woman who regularly joins them. And, quite frankly, she intimidates the hell out of me because she's what we euphemistically call back home a "Crazy Person." She's bespectacled, looks like a mild-mannered young librarian, but is known for her frequent screaming outbursts. She has a temper, that one.
And speaking of screaming, some old guy absolutely went off yesterday at about 5pm. I'm not sure where he was because the architecture of the area creates lots of echoes that make locating a sound source difficult unless you're willing to go investigate. Which I am, but I was pretty busy with work at the time. Wherever he was, he began screaming something that sounded a little like "Byeahhhh!" every four or five seconds as if he were some kind of human car alarm system-- and kept it up for almost three hours. An impressive performance. Someone more sane or less drunk would've given into the throat pain after about thirty minutes and stopped, but not this guy. He had an angry, drunken song to sing and he wanted to share it with the world.
"BYEAHHHH!"
What's that? Someone invading your space? Alcohol making off with more brain cells?
"BYEAHHHH!"
Anyone care to call the cops? I'm sure he's not doing anything to help the area businesses attract customers.
"BYEAHHHH!"
A strange croaking scream. Towards the end of his show, someone must've begun talking to him because instead of croaking a single nonsense syllable, he began croaking out entire nonsense sentences. The responding voice seemed to be female, which created in my mind an image of a lunatic duet between Croaker-san and the Crazy Librarian, but perhaps a woman police officer was trying to reason with him.
"Sir, none of these people have tried to steal your idea for a perpetual motion machine. Perhaps you should just go home and sleep it off."
"BYEAHHHH!"
Late in the evening he quieted down and we heard no more from him. I hope the police officer talked him into going home, but he probably just passed out and slept all night on the sidewalk or up against a wall in the piss-smelling courtyard behind our office building. Of course, in America, he probably just would've been tasered, maced or shot. And about fifty people would've captured it on their cellphone video cameras.
My people.
With the weather turning hot, the typical Japanese house without central air conditioning is too stifling to endure, so legions of middle-aged and elderly guys have been sitting on the benches downtown where they talk loudly, picnic, consume can after can of beer, shochu or chuhai and generally make a nuisance of themselves. There's one woman who regularly joins them. And, quite frankly, she intimidates the hell out of me because she's what we euphemistically call back home a "Crazy Person." She's bespectacled, looks like a mild-mannered young librarian, but is known for her frequent screaming outbursts. She has a temper, that one.
And speaking of screaming, some old guy absolutely went off yesterday at about 5pm. I'm not sure where he was because the architecture of the area creates lots of echoes that make locating a sound source difficult unless you're willing to go investigate. Which I am, but I was pretty busy with work at the time. Wherever he was, he began screaming something that sounded a little like "Byeahhhh!" every four or five seconds as if he were some kind of human car alarm system-- and kept it up for almost three hours. An impressive performance. Someone more sane or less drunk would've given into the throat pain after about thirty minutes and stopped, but not this guy. He had an angry, drunken song to sing and he wanted to share it with the world.
"BYEAHHHH!"
What's that? Someone invading your space? Alcohol making off with more brain cells?
"BYEAHHHH!"
Anyone care to call the cops? I'm sure he's not doing anything to help the area businesses attract customers.
"BYEAHHHH!"
A strange croaking scream. Towards the end of his show, someone must've begun talking to him because instead of croaking a single nonsense syllable, he began croaking out entire nonsense sentences. The responding voice seemed to be female, which created in my mind an image of a lunatic duet between Croaker-san and the Crazy Librarian, but perhaps a woman police officer was trying to reason with him.
"Sir, none of these people have tried to steal your idea for a perpetual motion machine. Perhaps you should just go home and sleep it off."
"BYEAHHHH!"
Late in the evening he quieted down and we heard no more from him. I hope the police officer talked him into going home, but he probably just passed out and slept all night on the sidewalk or up against a wall in the piss-smelling courtyard behind our office building. Of course, in America, he probably just would've been tasered, maced or shot. And about fifty people would've captured it on their cellphone video cameras.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The Buta Flu...
H1N1, more commonly known as swine flu is loose in Japan, with nearly 200 cases reported in the Kansai area, which includes Osaka and Kobe. It's strange. First there were a mere four cases found through various precautions in place at Narita Airport, with the patients quarantined and suddenly a huge and rapidly developing epidemic largely among high school students in Kansai.
Now that the pig influenza (as I've heard it called) is here to stay, the government plans to stop onboard inspections at the airports. That's fine; it was a measure that was obviously doomed to failure anyway. But, hey, they tried. Perhaps they should round up all the high school students nationwide and disinfect them.
According to people I've talked to, pharmacies and drug stores are sold out of face masks. Even during the best of times, people wearing face masks are a common sight along city sidewalks or on crowded trains. Right now you can spot them even more frequently and it's starting to look like those of us who eschew such precautions are fast becoming the minority. From what I understand, the masks are useless against the H1N1 virus, which is so tiny it easily passes right through the material in into your nasal passages and mouth. And while I'm not panicking by any means, I did start buying some flu food supplies tonight just in case I end up stuck in my apartment for a week.
Assuming I won't be too hungry or particularly able to stomach my typical fare (champagne, vodka martinis, caviar, oysters, an extra-tender veal imported by personal courier from the Argentinian pampas and, for special occasions, that remarkably delicious French delicacy, the ortolan), I went with low-fat Cup Noodles and Saltine crackers, plus some extra bottled water. I do drink tap water but I usually begin my day with a nice Volvic first thing in the morning. Yuka Honda swears by Volvic, and a name check in an old Cibo Matto song is plenty to make me brand-loyal for life.
Vive Volvic!
Now that the pig influenza (as I've heard it called) is here to stay, the government plans to stop onboard inspections at the airports. That's fine; it was a measure that was obviously doomed to failure anyway. But, hey, they tried. Perhaps they should round up all the high school students nationwide and disinfect them.
According to people I've talked to, pharmacies and drug stores are sold out of face masks. Even during the best of times, people wearing face masks are a common sight along city sidewalks or on crowded trains. Right now you can spot them even more frequently and it's starting to look like those of us who eschew such precautions are fast becoming the minority. From what I understand, the masks are useless against the H1N1 virus, which is so tiny it easily passes right through the material in into your nasal passages and mouth. And while I'm not panicking by any means, I did start buying some flu food supplies tonight just in case I end up stuck in my apartment for a week.
Assuming I won't be too hungry or particularly able to stomach my typical fare (champagne, vodka martinis, caviar, oysters, an extra-tender veal imported by personal courier from the Argentinian pampas and, for special occasions, that remarkably delicious French delicacy, the ortolan), I went with low-fat Cup Noodles and Saltine crackers, plus some extra bottled water. I do drink tap water but I usually begin my day with a nice Volvic first thing in the morning. Yuka Honda swears by Volvic, and a name check in an old Cibo Matto song is plenty to make me brand-loyal for life.
Vive Volvic!
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Quarter Pounder with Cheese has appeared in Hamamatsu...
I hadn't eaten a Quarter Pounder in more than twenty years... before yesterday. McDonald's in Japan is very similar to McDonald's in America, but there are a few exceptions. For example, the ebi burger (shrimp patty), the teriyaki burger (regular burger in teriyaki sauce with lots of mayonaise) and the seasonally-available tsukimi burger (a hamburger with a fried egg on top). But the menu didn't feature the ever-popular Quarter Pounder until fairly recently. And when it finally made its Japanese debut, it was available only in Tokyo.
Now, here in Hamamatsu, we have both the regular edition Quarter Pounder with Cheese and the ridiculous Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. They both come in a neat little cardboard box which I'm hoping is environmentally sound in some way. And, Pulp Fiction aside, despite Japan's being a metric nation, McDonald's has done nothing to adapt this burger. It's a Quarter Pounder in a country where most people don't know what a pound is.
Here's a totally unrelated "Happy Set" commercial:
Interesting how a lot of the descriptions on YouTube for Japanese TV commercials include the qualifiers "creepy," "surreal" and "effed up!" Surreal isn't problematic, because it doesn't imply a value judgement. The other adjectives are cute and all and probably for the most part well-meaning. They're just becoming tiresome. Why were they specifically chosen, and who has the time and energy to refute these things endlessly on message boards and websites?
Certainly, many of these commercials are entertaining in a way not usually seen in American or European TV spots, but because these are Japanese they're under that extra-special scrutiny reserved specifically by Westerners for all things Japanese. There seems to be a prejudiced mentality that what we see every day at home is the base normalcy for the rest of the world and variations on that are wrong in some way, and Japan seems to be many people's favorite "other."
I can't support slandering an entire nation of millions of people as "weird" or "perverted." Pointless and quite incorrect generalizations based on ignorance at best and racism at worst. It'd be more beneficial for some of the people expressing these views to hold that same mirror up to their own societies, or try to look at the familiar with an outsider's eyes. It's not that Japan doesn't have its share of wacky, wild, out there stuff, but the glee with which these things are scrutinized also bears examination, and should come with the admission that our own cultural stuff is just as effed up and creepy. In some cases even more so because they come appended to a level of hypocrisy and self-delusion that's beyond belief.
We might deplore the perceived Japanese sexual obsession with school girls, for example, but ignore Britney Spears' having made her fame playing the Lolita angle and disingenuously denying being sexually active-- essentially a deliberate tease and yet another provocative pose-- for a good portion of her early career, and the over-the-top fascination with Anna Kournikova and her pouting blonde teenybopper looks despite her spotty play as a tennis professional. I guarantee all those Hermione Granger fan postings on various message boards by older male fans aren't as innocently concerned with her... I don't know what her appeal is, actually; I'm sure someone on the Internet Movie Database can fill you in, and gladly so. Likewise, find someone to account for Hayden Panettiere's fanbase and the way the media handles her, please. And then there's Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana or whatever the hell her name is. Do you really believe all her fans are pre-teen girls? Remember the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson "countdown to legality?"
Pervo is as pervo does.
To take another example, it's one thing to point out porn manga but it's another to realize you're the one also searching out and fascinated by this porn manga and that it's also being bought in the United States and other countries as well... and that Japan is not even the world's per capita leader in porn revenue. Okay, so it's number three (but the US isn't that far behind). China produces one third of the world's adult products and 80% of the world's sex toys and condoms. And the UK is evidently the world's fastest growing market for online pornography. And I don't even want to think about the stuff Americans are into. So being weird in some way is in the eye of the beholder, after all.
Remember-- while you're gazing at them, they're also gazing at you.
Well, that was certainly a digression. Hope it was a useful one. Hamburgers are on me, everyone.
Now, here in Hamamatsu, we have both the regular edition Quarter Pounder with Cheese and the ridiculous Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. They both come in a neat little cardboard box which I'm hoping is environmentally sound in some way. And, Pulp Fiction aside, despite Japan's being a metric nation, McDonald's has done nothing to adapt this burger. It's a Quarter Pounder in a country where most people don't know what a pound is.
Here's a totally unrelated "Happy Set" commercial:
Interesting how a lot of the descriptions on YouTube for Japanese TV commercials include the qualifiers "creepy," "surreal" and "effed up!" Surreal isn't problematic, because it doesn't imply a value judgement. The other adjectives are cute and all and probably for the most part well-meaning. They're just becoming tiresome. Why were they specifically chosen, and who has the time and energy to refute these things endlessly on message boards and websites?
Certainly, many of these commercials are entertaining in a way not usually seen in American or European TV spots, but because these are Japanese they're under that extra-special scrutiny reserved specifically by Westerners for all things Japanese. There seems to be a prejudiced mentality that what we see every day at home is the base normalcy for the rest of the world and variations on that are wrong in some way, and Japan seems to be many people's favorite "other."
I can't support slandering an entire nation of millions of people as "weird" or "perverted." Pointless and quite incorrect generalizations based on ignorance at best and racism at worst. It'd be more beneficial for some of the people expressing these views to hold that same mirror up to their own societies, or try to look at the familiar with an outsider's eyes. It's not that Japan doesn't have its share of wacky, wild, out there stuff, but the glee with which these things are scrutinized also bears examination, and should come with the admission that our own cultural stuff is just as effed up and creepy. In some cases even more so because they come appended to a level of hypocrisy and self-delusion that's beyond belief.
We might deplore the perceived Japanese sexual obsession with school girls, for example, but ignore Britney Spears' having made her fame playing the Lolita angle and disingenuously denying being sexually active-- essentially a deliberate tease and yet another provocative pose-- for a good portion of her early career, and the over-the-top fascination with Anna Kournikova and her pouting blonde teenybopper looks despite her spotty play as a tennis professional. I guarantee all those Hermione Granger fan postings on various message boards by older male fans aren't as innocently concerned with her... I don't know what her appeal is, actually; I'm sure someone on the Internet Movie Database can fill you in, and gladly so. Likewise, find someone to account for Hayden Panettiere's fanbase and the way the media handles her, please. And then there's Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana or whatever the hell her name is. Do you really believe all her fans are pre-teen girls? Remember the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson "countdown to legality?"
Pervo is as pervo does.
To take another example, it's one thing to point out porn manga but it's another to realize you're the one also searching out and fascinated by this porn manga and that it's also being bought in the United States and other countries as well... and that Japan is not even the world's per capita leader in porn revenue. Okay, so it's number three (but the US isn't that far behind). China produces one third of the world's adult products and 80% of the world's sex toys and condoms. And the UK is evidently the world's fastest growing market for online pornography. And I don't even want to think about the stuff Americans are into. So being weird in some way is in the eye of the beholder, after all.
Remember-- while you're gazing at them, they're also gazing at you.
Well, that was certainly a digression. Hope it was a useful one. Hamburgers are on me, everyone.
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