Super-Gaijin '76

Taking the last train...

2011-12-09T19:16:00.001-08:00

There's definitely a different vibe when you have to take the last train from one sleepy little coastal town to another. The daytime trains are full of high school kids-- some tough-looking with their moussed pompadours and facial piercings-- and quiet old women, some serious-faced business people in black suits. Hours later, the day is done. Now it's time to go home on the last train from the station.

The last train sits at the platform for at least 30 minutes, waiting while the clean-up crew works at sweeping the concrete clean of trash. An elderly drunk comes off another train and barks like a dog, angry at the world and takes forever to climb the steps into the station. You can press a button to open the train doors and get on, then press another to close them with a pneumatic whoosh.

Stretched out on the seats near the center of the car is a middle-aged man wearing a parka, his shoes off. He looks as comfortable there as he would on his futon at home. In the elderly priority seats is a tired-looking man in a long leather coat, a tie and black slacks. He has a black leather bag at his feet. Later, a boisterous group of older men get on-- they're all more than likely drunk-- and they joke and laugh loudly. It quickly becomes their car.

There's not much to see out the train windows when it finally starts rolling. Some lights from houses across what are probably rice fields, a clustering of lights and a convenience store sign, more lights here and there, but otherwise just the reflection of yourself in the glass opposite.

The friends get off at a tiny station with no one in attendance. Then it's a quieter experience, just the clattering of the train's wheels on the track and the announcer's voice telling you you're finally home.

Definitely an earthquake zone!

2011-11-20T17:22:00.001-08:00

Yesterday morning was pretty interesting, if experiencing earthquakes interests you. It interests me in that I'd like not to do it ever again but I'm interested in the next time it happens. At about 4:30am, we had a 5.1 quake. That one woke me up because it shook my bed for quite a while. Later, around 10:45am, we experienced a 5.2 quake. The second quake rattled the windows and went on for a while.

I remember having a roommate when I first came to Japan who told all the students he was looking forward to his first earthquake. Personally, I could do without them.

It's a pretty big burger... I guess...

2011-11-09T06:40:00.000-08:00

O.M.G. Burgers (a hamburger restaurant in Kanagawa) touts a monster sandwich they call the Akebono Sumo Burger on their webpage. It weighs approximately 6 pounds and comes with about 2 and a half pounds of fries. If you manage to finish it, you win the equivalent of 300 USD and a t-shirt that proclaims to the world you ate half a cow.

Oh, and the burger is on the house.

For the ex-pat-- and the native-born as well-- Japan offers a wide variety of hamburger dining experiences. You can try the classic taste of McDonald's (yes, yes I did), Burger King and Wendy's (they exited the Japanese market in 2009, but this December they're jumping back into the food fight with renewed vigor), plus the home-grown delights of Freshness Burger and Mos Burger. If you're a fan of the manga Nana (and why aren't you?), you can try a Jackson Burger at Hachi's favorite place, Jackson Hole. Which is a bar.

But not the original bar as seen in the comic book and movie. In 2008, Jackson Hole moved from near the southern entrance of Chofu Station to new digs on the northern side, as some intrepid explorers in real-world manga locations have discovered. Philosophers and those versed in mereological essentialism will have to debate whether or not a Jackson Burger in the new location is the same as a Jackson Burger at the old and if it presents a Ship of Theseus paradox. I just know Hachi loves a Jackson Burger no matter where she sits to eat it.

As for me, a trip to O.M.G. Burgers is on my itinerary for the coming year. After all, who wouldn't want to challenge the sumo burger, especially if there's a chance some bikers will be there to cheer you on?

October Is Still Spookey Month: Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T06:39:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more of those delightful Tales of Terror videos. First up: a spooky sleep-over!

Looks like another of those ubiquitous school trips. Japanese students go on these excursions each year. Some stay within Japan, like these unfortunate girls, and others go abroad. Do you think this experience will cure Yuki of her school trip insomnia?

Here's yet another school trip.

Most school trips are meant to be educational experiences. From this one, I learned that if I leave my lip cream in the bathroom, I should just wait until morning to retrieve it.

Of course, terror doesn't confine itself to creepy old ryokan in the middle of the night. Sometimes it sneaks up on you around lunchtime in ordinary city apartments.

That was a lovely little flat. Didn't the sister decorate it nicely? Love the dot motif, but it's too bad about the visitor problem.

Well, there are dozens of those Tales of Terror on YouTube. But there are very few Spookey ones. Here's a favorite of mine:

Happy Halloween!

October Is Still Spookey Month: Halloween cosplay in Ikebukuro!

2011-10-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

I didn't get to go to this, but Sakura Cafe (part of the hotel) in Ikebukuro held a Halloween cosplay party and it looks like everyone had a lot of fun. Black cats, witches, zombies... characters whose identities I couldn't discern... I always enjoyed my stays at the Ikebukuro branch of this hotel chain. It's not that far from the station, features both hostel and "business hotel" accommodations, and -- like all the Sakura Hotels-- has a young, energetic staff that really go all out to make you feel welcome.

When I decided I was too boring to stay in Kabuki-cho in Shinjuku (and too cheap), I switched to the Sakura Hotels and made them my home-away-from home for my annual New Year's junket to Tokyo and the various Melt-Banana shows I attended. I spent my last 5 nights in Japan at the Hatagaya branch, just a quick subway ride from Shinjuku Station and watched a really lousy American League baseball game in the cafe there waiting for my departure time. Lousy in that the last couple of innings were interminable, one of those games where one team looks as though it's playing in slow motion and the other team just keeps hitting away.

Not a fun game. Not a fun day. But Halloween parties can be a blast. I always handed out candy on Halloween at my old school, and we talked about the holiday's history and popular costume choices. The classics proved popular, just like you'll see if you check out the photos in the link above. You know what else is fun?

Spookey doing "The Tra La La Song (One Banana, Two Banana)" from the old The Banana Splits Adventure Hour TV show!

October Is Still Spookey Month: If you're in Tokyo, go to prison for Halloween!

2011-10-28T11:59:00.000-07:00

The Sakura Hotel Asakusa staff blog features a short article on an Alcatraz-themed restaurant that looks like the perfect Halloween destination. Alcatraz by way of the Hannibal Lecter films. I hope it's still there next Halloween because I will definitely go there and sample some of their liver with fava beans. I'll have to pass on the Chianti no matter how nice it is; I no longer drink alcohol.

EEP! What we need after that is a palate cleanser of the musical sort:

October Is Still Spookey Month: Everyone seems to love Kuchisake-onna!

2011-10-26T06:02:00.000-07:00

Why? I'm not not sure. All I know is, this blog gets a lot of Google hits for "slit mouth woman" or "kuchisake-onna," and Youtube features a surprisingly large number of videos describing her legend. As it turns out, she's not only freaky, she's also incredibly popular.

I also find her very tragic, but that's not saying I particularly want to meet her. One of the most disturbing and therefore effective aspects of a lot of these Japanese horror tales is the arbitrary victim selection. Few of these people deserve their fates, unlike in most Western horror stories. You know-- the philandering lover, the know-it-all jerk, the greedy relatives, the kids who willfully ignore societal mores and go skinnydipping in Crystal Lake all receive their comeuppance.

But what about the kid who's just hanging out at home when a ghost comes to call? Or the young woman who finds herself running a little late and gets stuck in an elevator? Or the poor woman with the coughing fit in the park, and her child? When Kuchisake-onna catches up to you, it doesn't matter if you're a nice person or not.And speaking of nice, here's another performance by Toy Missile, outside Shinjuku Station. This is where I saw them way back in August, 2007. Their official website seems to have gone dark, so it may be they live now only in my memories. And on Youtube.

October Is Still Spookey Month: "Three People Are Coming" and a couple more Japanese horror shorts...

2011-10-25T06:29:00.000-07:00

That's a pretty lousy elevator. I don't think I'd enjoy riding that one, either. I rode some creepy elevators during my time in Japan, but I was lucky in that I never had that poor girl's experience. Nice job with those English subtitles by "montecristo73returns," though.What else can we find? How about this one?

Lesson learned? Cram school sucks! Again, great job on the subtitles.But if you stay out of elevators and cram schools, you're completely safe, right?

Yikes! That looks a lot like my old apartment! Nice job, KuljeetChauhan. I have no idea where these short films come from. Shown on television? From a DVD? They're pretty cool and there seem to be dozens of them.Now... here's a movie I made. You may have seen it before!

October Is Still Spookey Month: At last-- Tsukiko versus Tomie in the new movie!

2011-10-24T09:50:00.000-07:00

While we're on the subject of Japanese horror, the Tomie film series is apparently as unkillable as their eponymous villain. Tomie Unlimited is the newest offering from Toei Company, LTD. and it seems to be at least loosely based on the "Tsukiko" stories from Junji Ito's manga. This makes me happy, because I'm a big fan of those particular Tomie stories and of the character Tsukiko, the cheerfully amoral purveyor of candid photos of cute guys she sells to the girls who have crushes on them.

While the movie Tsukiko eschews her comic book counterpart's pixie cut and happy-go-lucky capitalist demeanor, Miu Nakamura makes quite a convincing Tomie. Several of the scenes from the trailer look astoundingly like panels from Ito's stories. It would be too much to ask for a completely faithful adaptation-- here, Tsukiko is Tomie's little sister rather than simply a classmate. However, the publicity materials promising a Tomie who "reveals her true face only when she is with Tsukiko" make this the most intriguing series entry in quite some time.

In the comic, Tsukiko makes a fun and vivacious enemy for Tomie, and Tomie's position as the head of her school's Public Morality Committee provides a bit of ironic counterpoint to Tsukiko's scheme. Just as Tsukiko abuses the privileges that come with being a member of the photography club-- access to a dark room and materials to make her illicit yet lucrative prints-- Tomie soon has her own club lackeys pursuing her unfortunate enemy. And it becomes apparent that Tsukiko's crimes pale in the face of Tomie's monstrous true self and the bloody murders she causes during their personal war.

The stories also benefit from a unity of setting, unlike the other Tomie tales which are only loosely connected. The idea of a beautiful yet thoroughly evil young woman who drives her lovers to madness and murder-- and yet cannot be killed herself, no matter how hard everyone tries-- is good for a few chills here and there, and benefit from Ito's trademark gross out scenes. But by grounding her in a specific locale and taking some time to develop her victims Ito creates a cycle of stories that have no problem standing alone. If character development is Ito's weak point as a writer, with the introduction of Tsukiko he solves this problem, and it helps bring Tomie herself into focus.

Even if you probably won't want to see what develops as a result. Isn't that right, Tsukiko? Tsukiko? Oh yeah, the school officials suspended her. Oh well. That gives her plenty of time to get to know her new best friend, Tomie. Here's Toy Missile, one of my favorite Japanese bands!

October Is Still Spookey Month: Here's Chiaki Kuriyama in an early horror role!

2011-10-23T07:08:00.000-07:00

This is a scene from the original direct-to-video Ju-on (2000) that spawned the movie series, the American remake and its sequels. I have no idea about the Ju-on mythology or back story, but I do know the American release of the first theatrical movie has a redundant title, and the Japanese release of the American version has a silly one.

While we tend to like our ghost stories set in the fall during Halloween season, Japanese culture favors the late summer during Obon time. This scene establishes mood early with the oppressive cicada static in the background; that's the soundtrack of summer there in Japan. They still ring in my ears and the I last experienced Japanese summer two years ago. The school bell briefly heard brings back a lot of memories for me as well. The cellphone is a neat plot device-- a more modern conduit for mysterious messages and voices from the other side, but its size and simplicity instantly date this movie. It's a period piece.

The message with the repeating 4s may not seem particularly chilling to Americans like myself, but the Japanese word for 4 is "shi," which also means death, so this is a pun commonly used in J-horror. Come to think of it, it might not be all that frightening even for a Japanese audience, because it's probably cliche by now. Remind me to ask!

Still, four is just not an auspicious number; I used to go get check-ups at a local hospital that had examining rooms numbered 3 and 5, but not 4. But it must be Kuriyama's lucky number, because she also appeared in a movie called Shikoku, the name of one of Japan's main islands (which uses its more benign meaning), but can also mean "land of the dead."

At least in that one, she gets to play the ghost rather than its victim.

Chiaki Kuriyama is one of the coolest people on earth. Unfortunately, I don't find the little kid ghost anywhere near as creepy as Sadako from the Ringu series, or even Tomie.Heeeeeeeeerrrrrrre's Sadako:

Once again, October is Spookey Month!

2011-10-03T11:12:00.001-07:00

Because Halloween is awesome and so are they, here's a video from Hamamatsu's all-girl punk band, Spookey:

The Hamamatsu Typhoon

2011-09-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

Or "taifun," if you prefer. Whatever you call it, however you spell it, Typhoon Roke smashed into my old hometown of Hamamatsu, Shizuoka, on Thursday, September 22. One of my good friends actually had to take his dog out for a poop during the storm. Can you imagine that? He and the dog are safe, but he told me trees were down, some roofs off houses, windows smashed and motorcycles and bicycles scattered.

I lost count of how many typhoons stuck Japan during the nearly six years I lived there. Once, when I lived in Toyohashi, one of my co-workers and I were way out in the sticks teaching at a school branch located in a department store when a typhoon blew through. We didn't know bus service to the train station had been cancelled, so like a couple of goons we stood at the stop for about half an hour before it dawned on us to go to a convenience store and call a cab. We didn't get back to our apartment until after 11:30pm. That was the kind of experience you can laugh about later.

Let me just warn you about one thing-- if you're planning on moving to Japan-- it will rain. And rain. And rain. Japan is a very rainy country. This is fine if you're also from a rainy country. I'm not. Riding a bicycle during rainy season, through the outer feeder bands of a typhoon when solid walls of water blow horizontally below your umbrella. You will more than likely do these things. Sometimes they're even fun. Yes, I miss it.

Sayonara, Nuclear Power

2011-09-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

Monday, September 19, saw about 60,000 people rally against nuclear power in Japan. Nobel laureate Oe Kenzaburo helped organize the event, which included a march through Omotesando and Harajuku-- I'm guessing along Omotesando-dori-- to Yoyogi Park.

It must have been quite a sight. Once, when I was vacationing in Tokyo, I found myself involved in a peace march in Shibuya. I'm not sure how many were in the march-- possibly 1000 people or so. They held signs in English promoting world peace, but they didn't exude radicalism or hippie-ism. Nothing fringe-y, although I think peace should be a mainstream issue. These were just ordinary people of all ages, many of them appearing to be clean-cut college students, the same kinds of kids I taught conversational English in Hamamatsu. Maybe because I was the only American-looking person around, they singled me out for a lot of smiles and peace signs, which I happily flashed back at them, letting them know, "Hey, I'm for peace, too."

Having participated in a "No Blood for Oil" march during the Second Persian Gulf War way back in 1990, I know what it's like to peacefully protest for something in which you strongly believe. Our protest didn't share the fun vibe the Shibuya peace march. There are probably many reasons for this which I just don't feel like getting into; not only that, I'm hardly an expert on either American or Japanese culture. But I do love peaceful protests. Especially friendly peaceful protests. Give me a smile and a hug and I'm much more likely to listen to what you have to say. We may not reach an agreement, but we can talk it over and maybe make friends with each other. Tote a gun and a frown, throw around threats, and we've got nothing to discuss.

Melt-Banana's new album...

2011-09-17T17:52:00.000-07:00

That's right, MxBx has a new album coming out. They haven't made the street date official, but the aiming point is spring, 2012. They originally wanted to release it to coincide with their North American tour this fall, but "things [haven't gone] smoothly," according to their newsletter.

Well, that's something to look forward to for those of us who probably won't get to see them live as they swing through the US and Canada.

Melt-Banana's "Lost and Found" US/North America Fall 2011 Tour Dates

2011-09-12T11:31:00.000-07:00

Looks like MxBx will be all over the place, possibly even somewhere near you. So you have no excuse for not seeing them. They put on one of the most incredibly kinetic live shows going and you never know what's going to happen. Here are the confirmed dates so far, so mark your calendars:

2011/10/01 Eugene WOW Hall (OR, USA)
2011/10/02 Portland Star Theater (OR, USA)
2011/10/03 Seattle Chop Suey (WA, USA)
2011/10/04 Missoula Badlander (MT, USA)
2011/10/06 Salt Lake City Kilby Court (UT, USA)
2011/10/08 Denver Larimer Lounge (CO, USA)
2011/10/09 Kansas City The Record Bar (MO, USA)
2011/10/10 Omaha The Waiting Room (NE, USA)
2011/10/11 Iowa City The Mill (IA, USA)
2011/10/12 Sioux Falls Boonies Bar (SD, USA)
2011/10/13 Minneapolis Triple Rock Social Club (MN, USA)
2011/10/14 Madison High Noon Saloon (WI, USA)
2011/10/15 Milwaukee The Cactus Club (WI, USA)
2011/10/16 Chicago Subterranean (IL, USA)
2011/10/17 St. Louis Cicero's (MO, USA)
2011/10/18 Bloomington The Bishop (IN, USA)
2011/10/19 Newport The Historic Southgate House (KY, USA)
2011/10/20 Lansing Mac's Bar (MI, USA)
2011/10/22 Cleveland Grog Shop (OH, USA)
2011/10/23 Ithaca The Haunt (NY, USA)
2011/10/25 Toronto Wrongbar (ON, CANADA)
2011/10/26 Montreal Il Motore (QC, CANADA)
2011/10/27 Cambridge TT The Bears (MA, USA)
2011/10/28 Hamden The Space (CT, USA)
2011/10/29 New York City Santos Party House (NY, USA)
2011/10/31 Philadelphia Union Transfer (PA, USA)
2011/11/01 Washington DC The Red Palace (DC, USA)
2011/11/02 Baltimore The Ottobar (MD, USA)
2011/11/04 Chapel Hill Local 506 (NC, USA)
2011/11/05 Atlanta The Earl (GA, USA)
2011/11/06 TBA (**, USA)
2011/11/07 TBA (**, USA)
2011/11/08 TBA (**, USA)
2011/11/09 TBA (**, USA)
2011/11/10 TBA (**, USA)
2011/11/11 TBA (**, USA)
2011/11/12 TBA (**, USA)
2011/11/13 TBA (**, USA)
2011/11/14 TBA (**, USA)
2011/11/15 Birmingham Bottletree Cafe (AL, USA)
2011/11/16 Mobile Alabama Music Box (AL, USA)
2011/11/17 Houston Fitzgerald's (TX, USA)
2011/11/18 Dallas The Prophet Bar (TX, USA)
2011/11/19 Austin Mohawk (TX, USA)
2011/11/20 San Antonio Jack's (TX, USA)
2011/11/22 Tucson Club Congress (AZ, USA)
2011/11/23 Mesa Hollywood Alley (AZ, USA)
2011/11/24 TBA (CA, USA)2011/11/25 TBA (CA, USA)
2011/11/26 TBA (CA, USA)
2011/11/27 TBA (CA, USA)
2011/11/28 TBA (CA, USA)
2011/11/29 TBA (CA, USA)
2011/11/30 TBA (CA, USA)

In the meantime, here's a little taste of MxBx to whet your appetites:

And this, too:

My new t-shirt design...

2011-09-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

Shop other personalized gifts from Zazzle.
You don't have to buy it, but I'm starting a clothing line celebrating the fun aspects of modern Japan. I figured if celebrities can do this by slapping some letters on a bunch of t-shirts and charge ridiculous prices for them, then there's no reason I can't do the same. Probably with much less successful results. Anyway, this is my inaugural offering.

Tour boat accident near my old hometown

2011-08-17T09:20:00.001-07:00

A friend just emailed me this news-- a tour boat capsized on the Tenryu river. Seven are missing, including 2 children. That's still local news to me. All my best wishes and thoughts go out to their families.

Prinprin Monogatari!

2011-05-23T09:27:00.001-07:00

I'd been looking for this for months. When I lived in Japan, I'd occasionally find this airing in the mornings or early afternoons on Cartoon Network. It's a puppet/marionette show called Prinprin Monogatari (or Purinpurin Monogatari). It originally aired on NHK in the early 1980s and has a gentle Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood feel. All I know about it beyond that is the characters would sometimes ride around in a Jeep.

Not so fast: Hamaoka shut-down update

2011-05-07T19:11:00.000-07:00

According to the Japan Times, Chubu Electric has put off their decision to shut down the Hamaoka nuclear power plant. Since I posted about Mr. Kan's request earlier, I just thought I should update you. The request itself is non-binding, so it's not as if the prime minister ordered them to close it. This should be an interesting story to follow.

The Simpsons are going to Japan!

2011-05-07T14:12:00.001-07:00

When kid students learned I'm a The Simpsons fan-- usually because I'd draw Homer and Bart as the dialogue characters as opposed to just writing down a couple of names-- they'd point at my drawings and say, "CC Lemon! CC Lemon!" I asked some older students about this and they told me about the Simpsons appearing in commercials for that soft drink (which tastes like someone dissolved lemon-flavored cough drops in ginger ale). Then we'd talk about the TV show and compare Bart's antics to Crayon Shin-chan's.

"I thought he was a good person!" one young woman said through giggles after I told her what a little bastard Bart Simpson is. Apparently, whether you're American or Japanese, you love your bad boys. At least in animated form.

The Hamaoka nuclear power plant is closing...

2011-05-07T05:51:00.000-07:00

By request of Prime Minister Kan Naoto, it seems. You know, since an earthquake and tsunami has already caused something of a row at one nuclear power plant in Japan, they've decided this one is particularly vulnerable. The plant's closure makes a lot of my ex-pat friends who live in the plant's general vicinity very happy. I don't know how my Japanese friends and ex-students feel about it, but I'm going to guess the people I know best probably feel the same. I'd ask but I don't want to ruin their Mother's Day weekend with stupid questions. I'll bet it's a talking point this week at Pacific English School.

I'm no expert on the fission or the atom but since the prime minister has also asked people there to conserve electricity, I'm further going to guess they'll have to figure out some sort of power grid infrastructure adjustment so the lights will stay on in Hamamatsu and Shizuoka City. Yes, there may be power shortages in the interim. Summer won't be very pleasant without air conditioning, but a little mugginess indoors definitely beats the possible radioactive consequences of the major quake that's supposed to strike the Chubu region within the next 30 years. It does give a person an excuse to lounge about naked while drinking cold beer. As if we needed it, right? Right?

I think I've seen that nuclear power plant. I know it's near Omaezaki, which has a famous lighthouse. I went there with a girl I was dating and the way the drive plays out in my memory, we went past the plant and I said something stupid about Homer Simpson that didn't register with her at all. The Simpsons are minor soft drink spokespeople in Japan, not cultural touchstones the way they are here in the US. Then we sat together on the beach and watched the surfers bobbing on the waves as the sun went down.

My Mos Burger addiction

2011-03-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

I love keeping up with Japan. It's been almost a year since I left but I still love that country and its wonderful people. One way I keep a foot in Japan is by following the Sakura hostel blogs. I recommend you stay at a Sakura hotel or hostel when you're in Tokyo-- they're very reasonable, have excellent locations and the staff are friendly and fun. I regularly stayed in the Ikebukuro and Hatagaya Sakura Hotels (never tried the hostels because I'm just not a hostel kind of person). In fact, my last 5 nights in Japan were at Sakura Hotel in Hatagaya, which happens to have a Mos Burger right around the corner.

Here's a short blog entry about Mos Burger from one of the Asakusa hostel staff. It's got some fun info on the chain. Did you know Mos Burger introduced the first teriyaki burger? I didn't, but I do know teriyaki burgers are a staple of Mos-competitor McDonald's.

One thing I always enjoyed about Mos Burger is they don't prepare your meal until after you order it. Which means you have to wait a little longer than you would at McDonald's or Burger King, but you always get hot, fresh food served to you in a little wicker basket. Mos Burger's fries are incredibly delicious when hot. Sometimes I crave them.

My first Mos experience was way back in 2003, on my very first visit to Japan. I was in alone in Tokyo, out in Mitaka to visit the Ghibli Museum-- and because I'm math-challenged, I'd shown up too early to go in. See, your Ghibli Museum ticket comes with a specific entry time. It helps cut down on crowds and makes your experience inside the museum more pleasant. But if you're an idiot like me, you might misread the 24-hour clock and show up at, say, 1300 when you're supposed to be there at 1500.

Hungry because I'd skipped lunch in my determination to make my museum appointment (stupidity compounds itself), I set off down the street to find a lunch spot and kill some time. I'm not sure how far I walked, maybe 5 minutes or so, but I found a Mos Burger. I'd seen a few of those around Hamamatsu and Tokyo and decided to try. This was also my first time ordering food by myself in Japan. The restaurant employees got over their initial shock at seeing my white face stumble through the door and the girl at the register gave me a big smile and steeled herself for what she more than likely expected to be a confusing encounter with a jerk-ass foreigner.

Actually, with the Ghibli Museum right down the road, the Mos staff were probably used to dealing with us. The cashier showed me how to point at the menu and I quickly chose who-knows-what. A hamburger with what looked like chili on top and a side of fries and a soft drink. She gave me a plastic tentlike thing with a number on it and gestured towards the dining tables. I'm sure I was grinning like a fool.

The food came hot and I enjoyed my inaugural Mos experience. Later I learned how to say my order in Japanese and also to love their teriyaki chicken sandwich. The Mos Burger at Zaza City in Hamamatsu became a regular lunch spot for me on days I worked, and the one near Sakura Hotel Hatagaya became a place for me to grab a quick meal before going to a Melt-Banana show in Shin-Okubo or Shibuya.

The main source of confusion about Mos Burger is what the Mos stands for. Someone once claimed it was short for "Most Delicious Burger," but if you look at the food wrappers, you'll see it really stands for "Mountain Ocean Sun." But it is pronounced like the word "most" with the t chopped off, not moss.

A Japanese commercial

2011-03-18T05:48:00.000-07:00

A former student of mine posted this and I thought it was amusing so I'm sharing it with you. Just to lighten the mood for a moment.

Here's a more comprehensive list of charities

2011-03-15T17:51:00.000-07:00

If you are so inclined, please check out this list and the information it contains about various organizations that are attempting to aid Japan during this crisis. This site also contains some useful advice on giving you might want to consider.

Donate money...

2011-03-15T10:16:00.001-07:00

Here are links to the three organizations I chose to donate to (partially because I respect their missions and partially because of the percentage of the donation that goes directly to the relief efforts as opposed to administrative functions):

1. Save the Children
2. International Medical Corps
3. GlobalGiving

That's not a knock against these other organizations that are helping Japan now, too, many of which I've donated to in the past. I do things intuitively. Make up your own mind, but please help:

1. The American Red Cross
2. Salvation Army
3. Doctors Without Borders
4. Peace Winds
5. Operation USA
6. International Fund for Animal Welfare (for animal lovers)

This is only a very limited list. There are many other groups, agencies, organizations and foundations that are also contributing to Japan's needs. I urge you to take some time and find the one that feels right for you and help those who need.

Donate directly...

2011-03-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

1. Food (instant foods, dietary supplements, baby foods)
2. Warm blankets
3. Clothing;
4. Baby clothes, and DIAPERS!!!!

Attn: Earthquake Relief Supplies
Miyagi Prefectural Office
3-8-1, Honcho
Aoba-ku, Sendai city, Miyagi
980-8570, JAPAN

Attn: Earthquake Relief Supplies
Iwate Prefectural Office
10-1 Uchimaru Morioka city, Iwate
020-8570,JAPAN

Attn: Earthquake Relief Supplies
Aomori Prefectural Office
1-1-1 Nagashima, Aomori city,
Aomori, 030-8570, JAPAN

Attn: Earthquake Relief Supplies
Fukushima Prefectural Office
2-16 Sugitsuma-cho, Fukushima City
960-8670, JAPAN

NOTE: If you send food, please make sure all the items in each box are the same. Also, new baby clothes, not secondhand. That may change if things become more desperate, but apparently that's the rule for now. Believe me, your contributions will be GREATLY appreciated.

(From my friends Jon and Hiromi Bauer)

Thoughts of Japan on a terrible morning

2011-03-11T06:06:00.000-08:00

We've got NBC and CNN on and I'm emailing friends in Japan. News of this nature is mindboggling; it's difficult to process. When I left Japan, my heart remained there-- so many friends, so much love. Today I'll be praying for them all.

Here's an ABC reporter describing her experience.

Bizarre ending to the Tokyo-Hakone relay marathon!

2011-01-05T18:26:00.000-08:00

&amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/wrong-time-to-take-wrong-turn-in-marathon-race/207j266p?q=Marathon&amp;amp;amp;rel=msn&amp;amp;amp;from=en-us_msnhp&amp;amp;amp;form=msnrll&amp;amp;amp;gt1=42007&amp;amp;amp;fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Wrong Time To Take Wrong Turn In Marathon Race"&amp;amp;gt;Video: Wrong Time To Take Wrong Turn In Marathon Race&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;

That poor guy! It looks as though he was focused a bit too much on the pace car, and the announcers could not believe what they were seeing. That's totally something I would do. Fortunately, his 10th place finish was enough to qualify his university team for next year's relay.

"I am a Realist:" Shonen Knife from 1982's "Minna Tanoshiku"

2011-01-01T07:33:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure who made this video (it was posted by "J4P4N"), but it's pretty nifty paired with this early piece from Shonen Knife.

Shonen Knife to start 2011!

2011-01-01T07:28:00.000-08:00

With this as the first song you listen to, how can 2011 fail to be the best year you ever had? Hey ho, let's go! Let's go to LA!

Now you don't have to go to Tokyo to experience a Tokyo train platform...

2011-01-01T07:06:00.000-08:00

This is Ebisu Station. A nicely shot video, very steady and clear. Yep, this is what it's like. That jaunty music is "The Third Man Theme," which was used in an Ebisu Beer commercial years ago and has remained a durable outdoor cue for various places around Japan. I first heard it in the small shopping arcade just off Hirokoji-dori in Toyohashi, Aichi. Despite having seen the movie several times, I completely failed to recognize this theme until just today! That's either a contextual thing or else I'm an idiot. Or both.

At any rate, watching this video makes me homesick for Japan.

Shibuya Twilight...

2010-12-27T14:28:00.000-08:00

Shibuya Twilight by ~supergaijin76 on deviant ART

I think I took this photo in May of this year, but it might have been in 2009. It's not far from Shibuya Station, in the maze of shopping streets behind Senta-gai. I went there almost every May, August and December while I was in Japan, but I never once ate at Miami Garden or the Standing Sushi Bar!

And while we're at it, let's have some Boredoms...

2010-12-27T07:09:00.000-08:00

When I was teaching in Japan, my students often asked me, "Why are you interested in living in Japan?" I think they usually found my answer pretty mystifying, since I never once met a person who knew anything about Boredoms or Melt-Banana. So they'd ask, "Are Boredoms or Melt-Banana popular in America?" they'd ask, and I'd have to reply, "Well... not really..." and we'd have to go the "long way around the barn" to come to the mutual understanding I was in Japan for intensely personal, largely sonic and visual reasons, none of which anyone found interesting.

Eventually, I learned to just answer, "I'm here because I like modern Japanese music." If the students pursued that further and asked what groups I like, I'd say, "Different kinds. Not popular ones," and try to turn it into a discussion of the kinds of music they enjoyed. Sometimes this went over pretty well. We had one young woman who was so totally into Glay she went to practically every concert and she'd always light up and start chatting with enthusiasm about the latest show she attended.

In my highest level class-- the one that always left me giddy and out of breath from the super intense effort of keeping up with the two students and their quick witted repartee-- one girl (who spoke flawless, native speaker-level English, by the way) was a dedicated SMAP fan. One December afternoon late in the semester, she got excited talking about how much she was looking forward to their New Year's TV special.

The other girl in the class laughed, rolled her eyes and declared, "I don't give a shit about that!"

OOIOO has the cure for the post-Christmas letdown...

2010-12-27T07:03:00.000-08:00

I'm a bit obsessed with this song right now. It transports me. Listening to it, I can almost imagine myself gliding into Tokyo on the shinkansen for my annual New Year's holiday there. For someone from a small southern town whose idea of a big city was Atlanta, Georgia, discovering Tokyo for the first time was roughly the same as David Bowman's trip through the monolith-- mind-expanding, soul-altering. I'm strongly emotionally affected by such things. And this song provides the perfect soundtrack for that experience.

Tokyo, I love you!

Japanese whiskey commercials achieved perfection with this Orson Welles spot...

2010-12-11T07:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm late to this party but I'm on a bit of an Orson Welles kick today and only just now found this on YouTube. Forget Bill Murray's character and his Suntory commercial in Lost in Translation. The incomparable Orson Welles for G&G, ladies and gentlemen. "Nikka Whisky" indeed!

Toy Missile IS Love!

2010-11-19T18:23:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple of videos of one of the most awesomest little bands I ran across in Japan, playing in the exact same spot I saw them, just outside Shinjuku Station:

They were incredibly nice when I talked to them.

I'd love to see the full band perform sometime. If I had the money, I'd bring them to the US and set them off on tour. Toy Missile would spread positive vibes from coast to coast and blow away all this pall of anxiety and uncertainty. Worry no more!

Kuriyama Chiaki really is a Kawaii Girl at heart...

2010-11-19T17:32:00.000-08:00

It looks as though she's really pushing herself as a singer these days. That's cool. She can be a multi-talented threat. Nothing controversial or unusual in these remarks; the things she loves about Japan are pretty much the same things my students used to tell me when asked the same question-- especially the "four seasons" part. But there's a flash of the wild Chiaki right at the end, a little teaser for something dangerous to come!

Wanna Work for Domino's in Japan? The Pay's Pretty Good!

2010-11-05T06:09:00.001-07:00

A Reuters news story describes one of the promotions for Domino's Pizza's 25th anniversary celebration in Japan-- a part-time job that pays about $31,000USD for an hour's work! If you've ever been to Japan and had a chance to spend time in a residential neighborhood, you know how bewildering the tangle of streets can be. The numbering system for buildings is also confusing at first; I eventually caught on, but it took a dummy like me almost 6 years!

I couldn't imagine trying to deliver pizzas on one of those brightly-painted little pizza scooters to a Japanese house in say, Hirosawa-cho, Hamamatsu. It would be like driving along a noodle in a plate of spaghetti and trying to find a specific tomato.

Pay attention to the photo accompanying that story-- it's heartbreaking. I have no idea why they chose that particular photo. Yes, it's a Domino's, but it's not even in Japan. The Tokyo log line just under it could lead to confusion. Much like trying to find a residence in Hirosawa-cho!

Yoko Ono's Book for Sky People!

2010-09-02T05:39:00.001-07:00

Yoko Ono designed a book that is also a kite. This is an idea that absolutely thrills me. All books are kites in way; a book lets your imagination take flight on its storyteller's wind. Now Yoko Ono has brilliantly made this metaphor a reality.

Wow! Great! Wash your face and try again... in 3D next time!

2010-08-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

bande annonce - Battle Royale 3D バトル・ロワイアル3D 予告編
Uploaded by hideto42. - Check out other Film & TV videos.

That's right! Toei Company has converted the cult classic Battle Royale into current gimmick format 3D for a November 20th release. I suppose as a 3D skeptic and Battle Royale super-fan I should be outraged or something, but I'm not. I'm happy the movie is getting a re-release. As much as I love this movie, it's not exactly a work of art. We're not talking colorizing Citizen Kane here, and we've already seen special editions and a crappy sequel. Battle Royale is a pulp movie all the way, meant to be seen by jazzed-up audiences. So I applaud anything that puts it back on the big screen.

My only concern is the visual quality. The movie's cinematography is already on the murky side, and from what I understand, 3D conversions sometimes further darken images. Apparently, that was one of the many, many, many, many, many failings of M. Night Shyamalan's much-derided Last Airbender fiasco. What's the point of a movie known for its groovy ultra-violence by the likes of Aki Maeda, Shibasaki Kou and Chiaki Kuriyama if we can't see all the gore?

Rajio no Jikan: A Movie I Need to See!

2010-08-18T04:08:00.000-07:00

You know, I get really bummed out about the constant reiteration of the same old movie plots. Boy tries to win girl, mismatched couple with impossibly glamorous jobs fall in love while bickering about gender differences, spies and secret agents pursue each other or some ridiculous, world-changing technology or secret via dizzingly choreographed action setpieces, giant robots who talk almost exclusively in simple-minded declaratives and/or pop culture references come to earth and fight for no particular reason while Shia LaBeouf looks on, yet another shabby child-targeted cultural artifact from a simpler time is dressed up with edgy scatalogical jokes and crotch-kicks...

Yuck.

How about a movie where the actors in a live radio drama start demanding changes to the script? Yes. Hell yes, I say. That's the premise of Rajio no Jikan (1997), also known as Welcome Back, Mr. McDonald. Thirteen years later, and it still seems fresher than the latest Hollywood CGI-laden 3D arglebargle. That one actor renames his character Donald McDonald because he sees a McDonald's bag is enough to make me want to watch this. That the writer is horrified when the drama's setting is moved from Atami to New York only adds to my desire to own it on DVD.

Even if every other element of this film proved to be an unmitigated disaster, I'd still want to see it. But apparently, it won three Japanese Academy Awards and was nominated for several more.

OOIOO - Be Sure to Loop

2010-08-05T13:16:00.000-07:00

This is Yoshimi P-We's incredible OOIOO group performing "Be Sure to Loop" at 2000's Fuji Rock Festival. Since hearing this song, I haven't forgotten to loop. Not even once!

Yoshimi's "Tuna Fish Power"

2010-08-05T13:03:00.000-07:00

This is someone's homemade video for Yoshimi P-We's noise song "Tuna Fish Power." I think. I just found it on YouTube and was so excited to share it with you, I didn't feel like doing any research. Yoshimi is a towering musical talent from Boredoms/Voordoms, OOIOO, Free Kitten (with Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth) and at least one collaboration with Flaming Lips. Plus many others of which I'm not currently aware.

My one regret about having lived in Japan was not seeing her perform live with any of those groups, or solo. Some people go to Japan with a dream of climbing Mt. Fuji. Seeing Yoshimi P-We perform is my Mt. Fuji.

A Fantastic High Definition Video of One of My Old Haunts...

2010-07-29T18:50:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I didn't make this video. Whoever did has my admiration and gratitude because it brings back a lot of fun memories. It's Kabukicho, the "red light district" of Tokyo's fabulous Shinjuku ward. Whenever I went to Tokyo back in the day, I stayed right in the heart of it at a business hotel called Hotel Kent. My students kept telling me how dangerous it was; apparently, they eventually got through to me because I shifted my Tokyo headquarters out to Hatagaya and the more affordable Sakura Hotel-- which I highly recommend to any young travellers looking for reasonably priced lodgings. They also plan all kinds of educational and fun cultural and social events.

I used to love walking around Kabukicho at night. Prostitutes-- female and male-- used to proposition me pretty frequently. Not that I'm anything special; it's their job to pick up stragglers and earn some yen for their pimps.

Once, being something of a smart ass, I switched up the transaction on a working girl.

"You'll pay me how much for what?" I asked her and she looked as if her brain skipped a groove.

A heavy-set man in a suit came running over, telling me and my friend Mike in perfect English we had it all wrong, that it didn't work that way. I decided my lame comedy stylings worked better as a road act so the two of us high-tailed it out of there and found a hostess bar in which to drink and be groped by topless women in g-strings as we passed from sobriety into a more risk-taking frames of mind. The end result was we left about 200 bucks lighter and my face smeared with lipstick of some kind.

From time to time, I wonder what happened to that girl. She was quite pretty, had a little English, probably was scared most of the time. I can't imagine her story will have a happy ending. Whatever else was happening to her at the time, it certainly was no fairy tale, and I was no Richard Gere.

That's Kabuki-cho. A dangerous place? I don't know. I felt a little nervous there, but I also came through unscathed each time, no matter how drunk I got. And during the day it's full of young office workers having lunch, teams of stylish young women shopping or high school kids. Plus hardcore pachinko addicts who are too fixated on their little metal balls to care much about some bald white guy walking around gawking at the scenery. And, as you can see from this video, even at night it teems with diners, shoppers and your everyday variety fun-seekers. So I imagine danger is a subjective thing.

Then again, I once threw myself into the center of a riot one night back home in the States. So perhaps I'm not the best judge of whatever constitutes risky behavior.

Visit Medieval Europe in the Heart of Modern Tokyo...

2010-07-24T17:27:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while Carl Jung likes to goose me from beyond the grave. I'm re-reading The Once and Future King by T.H. White, one of my most beloved books. I lived in Japan for six years. I even went to an Akihabara maid cafe styled after a German castle.

And I've just now discovered Castle Tintagel. During my time in Japan, I met quite a few people who traveled to Japan to learn Asian martial arts, but this is the first time I've seen people learning European martial arts there.

Heck yeah, why not? Why not do something out of the ordinary, something free from cliche while you're in Japan? Anyone can eat sushi or take an ikebana class (and I recommend you try both)-- only the daring few will take a class in the German longsword. I really had no idea there were chivalry enthusiasts over there, and the photos certainly make the experience look fun. This is something I wish I'd known about before I jetted back to the States because I would have loved doing a little Renaissance dancing in Tokyo. Not so sure about the sparring in full armor. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Christmas in July, MxBx Style!

2010-07-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

This seems to be the hot thing this year in the States: Christmas in July. Charities are doing it, stores are doing it. Now you can do it, too, with Melt-Banana. This is a fun video with the longest Yasuko monologue I've yet heard.

Tokyo's Big! Yeah yeah yeah!

2010-05-06T09:56:00.001-07:00

It's not small! No no no!

This is a view towards Shibuya and Shinjuku from the main observation deck of Tokyo Tower. I climbed 500 meters up the central stairs to get to this two-story deck. The line for the elevator to the very top was so long, I decided to walk as far as they'd allow. I'm not squeamish about heights, just about human constructions that take us to those heights. I don't trust 'em. So huffing and puffing my way up some steel steps was actually more comfortable for me than taking the elevator and watching Tokyo vertiginously fall away from my feet, thoughts of structural and mechanical failure rampaging in my mind, sending panic-currents flowing through my nervous system.

The observation deck was crowded, due especially to the holiday. I went to Tokyo Tower during Golden Week, that special time of the year when three national holidays in a row shut down a lot of businesses and send families hither and yon across Japan in search of fun. I don't know what someone who suffers from both acrophobia and agoraphobia would do at Tokyo Tower; I don't recommend you try if you have both these fears unless your doctor recommends it as some kind of immersion therapy.

The Shibuya Scramble...

2010-05-02T04:48:00.000-07:00

"Black Hole Sun" cover by Cibo Matto.

Melt-Banana Redux

2010-04-30T18:19:00.001-07:00

Here's the Photobucket version of the Melt-Banana video. I'm just testing to see which has the higher quality. Both have that guy's head in the way, though.

Melt-Banana at Shelter Shimokitazawa, April 29, 2010

2010-04-30T04:12:00.000-07:00

This is a short video I made the other night at the MxBx show. I'm going to post a review of the happening later. Things are kind of in flux right now so I don't have as much time as I'd like or the ability to concentrate. Sorry! But enjoy the jittery video!

Iceland's Volcano Strands Hundreds in Narita Airport

2010-04-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

Wow, that's some volcano if its effects are reaching all the way across the world from Europe to Asia. There are rumors the Icelandic government plans to parachute Bjork into the volcano to calm it with her music, but while Bjork is impervious to temperatures beyond 1,160 degrees Celsius (2,120 degrees Fahrenheit), there's some concern as to whether or not the volcano will be able to hear her through the bulky breathing apparatus she must wear.

Meanwhile, I know it's no fun being stranded at an airport for days. Sakura Hotel & Hostel of Tokyo reports some of their guests from France have had to extend their stay; these are the lucky ones, because the Sakura people are just incredible and they plan a lot of activities for visitors. Even so, I know these weary travelers simply want to go home.

Yoshida Eri Brings Her Knuckleball to the United States...

2010-04-11T01:26:00.000-07:00

Remember Eri? She's the girl who plays professional baseball in Japan. Well, she used to play professional baseball in Japan. Now she's joining the Chico Outlaws of the Golden Baseball League. Yoshida Eri was the first woman to play professional ball in Japan, but not the first in the United States, of course. She's no publicity freak either; last winter, she threw 4 2/3 innings of shut out ball against Team Canada.

Her official signing ceremony takes place April 13th here in Japan. Here's wishing Yoshida Eri the best of luck as she embarks on this exciting new phase in her baseball career!

The First Japanese Mother in Space!

2010-04-05T17:48:00.000-07:00

There's really no overestimating the importance of the mother to the Japanese family unit. While this is no doubt true of every country, I've met more mothers on a one-on-one basis here in Japan than I have anywhere else so I 've come to appreciate the unrelenting work they do to keep their households running smoothly. They're usually the ones with all the hands-on duty, whether they're shufu (homemakers/housewives) or kaishain (company employees). It's up in the morning to make breakfast and bento (lunchboxes) for everyone, then work and more work, maybe a quick English lesson, a trip to the supermarket and dinner for kids and husbands-- if any of them get home in time.

Discipline, finances, planning trips, taking charge of their children's educations. These are the things left in their care. I doubt many (if any) of the positive aspects of Japanese society would exist without Japanese mothers. And do they complain?

Well, yeah, constantly.

Occasionally, Japanese mothers even go into space to operate robotic arms and inspect space shuttle heat-shielding tiles for damage. Aerospace engineer Yamazaki Naoko is just the second Japanese woman to travel into space and here's hoping she has a safe, productive journey. The Mainichi Daily News says this about her:

Her role will be one that affects the success or failure of the entire mission.

That's true in space or here in Japan, whether the mission is delivering supplies to the International Space Station or producing functioning, contributing adults who are a benefit to their communities. What an amazing person. What amazing people I've met and taught and talked to since I've been here. The Japanese mother. I stand in awe and open admiration.

Melt-Banana at Earthdom in Shin-Okubo

2010-04-01T18:22:00.000-07:00

I went looking on YouTube for some video of the MxBx show I attended at Earthdom in Tokyo's Shin-Okubo section, but found this instead. I'm not sure when it occured, but I do know from Yasuko's clothing it isn't the show I went to. I don't think I've ever seen her wearing anything other than her white hoodie.

Judging from this video and the show I was at, Melt-Banana's Earthdom gigs are insane. I was there September 30, 2007 (has it really been almost three years?), and bodies packed the venue. The action in front of the stage was insane. I tried to take photos, but even near the back people jostled my arms and pounded my body. I came away hobbled, suffering from intense back pain, leaning on my umbrella like sick old man.

My advice is, if you're young and energetic and ever in Tokyo with the chance to see Melt-Banana live, try to go to a show at Earthdom. If you're an oldster like me, with a body ravaged by years of chemical abuse, then catch Melt-Banana at Shibuya O-Nest.

I Was Able to Buy a Ticket for Melt-Banana's April 29th Show in Setagaya

2010-03-31T05:35:00.001-07:00

In honor of that achievement, here's the video I made of the band last year. This will be my fifth and probably final time seeing Melt-Banana in Japan, and it comes exactly 8 months after the last one.

I've never been to Setagaya (as far as I can remember), so it should be a double treat. Three bands, a new locale, a few new vistas. It will require some hard traveling-- I have to get to Tokyo, check into a hotel, find the venue, enjoy the show, get up early the next day and come back to close out my apartment, then it's back to Tokyo again.

But it's MxBx, so it's worth it.

Rika's Bass Playing Never Ceases to Amaze Me!

2010-03-20T01:14:00.001-07:00

This song has it all. Agata's counter-musical guitar attack, Yasuko's barked, high-speed vocals and one of Rika's most propulsive bass lines.

And here's a short live clip of the band playing it live at Shibuya's O-Nest, March 21, 2005:

I was at this show. Fantastic night. Enthusiastic bodies packed the venue and interior temperatures soared. MxBx opened for the Red Krayola, but after their set I went up the exterior steps-- since closed to the public-- for some fresh air and to gaze out over the Tokyo skyline. An infinity of city lights, some flickering, some blinking and some perfectly still punctuating the night like satellite transmissions made visible.

France Honors "Beat" Takeshi...

2010-03-10T17:47:00.001-08:00

This is some cool news. One of my favorite filmmakers/omnipresent TV personalities, Kitano Takeshi, has been named a Commander of the Order of the Arts and Letters by the French government.

I love me some Kitano Takeshi. He's a multi-talented, seemingly tireless and incredibly complex artist. He also hosts some of the funniest shows on Japanese television, like the strange spectacle of a large group of comedians being zapped with missiles via satellite by then-President George W. Bush whenever they failed to answer trivia questions correctly. And the time he declared what was apparently a ghostly head in the background of a ghost video to be just a homeless person sleeping behind a concrete planter.

I've been meaning to read his autobiography and soon I'll have plenty of free time in which to do so. Hearty congratulations on this honor, Mr. Kitano. Now, let's enjoy a television interview with this master of arts:

More Melt-Banana: Eight Short Songs Video...

2010-03-07T18:48:00.001-08:00

I'm so happy to have gotten a comment on this blog, I decided to post another Melt-Banana video: Yasuko having fun on stage. This is a pretty nice clip, one of the more professional MxBx concert videos I've run across and it gives one an excellent feel for what their live shows are like. I tend to prefer them in an intimate setting so I can focus on each element without distraction but it's heartening to see the band in front of a large, appreciative and receptive audience.

Melt-Banana doesn't have many upcoming shows this spring. All I've seen listed is one at Earthdom in March, a Melt-Banana Lite gig. It'd be nice to catch them once more before I jet out of Japan, but that may not be possible.

Oops... I just checked the MxBx MySpace page. They've got a show on March 21st, but their live schedule hasn't been updated. Kinda makes it hard to search for one last chance to catch them before I go home.

Kuriyama Chiaki Sings!

2010-02-25T08:54:00.000-08:00

I haven't watched this all the way through yet, so I don't know if she dies before the end. She definitely sings, though.

Which Is Windier: Hamamatsu or Chicago?

2010-02-06T02:05:00.000-08:00

Just after lunch today I encountered the single strongest gust of wind I've ever felt, and I've been in taifun. The wind was so powerful, it slowed my bicycle to where I was in danger of falling over; I struggled to pedal against it. An older couple on the street corner ahead leaned about sixty degrees into it to keep from being blown on their asses. Two girls on bicycles flew by, laughing and shouting at each other, neither bothering to pedal.

It was a wind strong enough to suck the breath right out of a person.

I'm not sure if we had snow flurries earlier this morning, but the ragged clouds flowing overhead like pale leaves caught in a sudden flood certainly looked snow-laden to me. The air smelled like snow. There was snow somewhere around... maybe a few miles away in the mountains. Maybe snow oni were riding those clouds towards them.

For Those About to AKB48, I Salute You!

2010-01-27T16:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what that video is. I was looking for another AKB48 clip with which to illustrate this post, and this was first. Pretty amusing. At first I thought it might be two AKB48 members giving a press conference, but now I believe it's a couple of girls comically riffing on the whole "idol" phenomenon. I can only understand about 5% of what they're saying, so I could easily be wrong. I like their little synchronized hand gestures, though.

AKB48 fans found my post about the group, and if any are still reading this blog, welcome. I checked out some AKB48 messageboards and was happy to see a few people enjoyed my post. It was fun to write, and I had no idea the group's popularity had penetrated the North American market already. Anything that gets people excited about Japan is fine by me. Well, amost anything; there are a few things here that deeply disturb me and I try not to think about them.

But if AKB48 is your gateway drug, then I'm all for that. Mine happened to be Ultraman, Pink Lady and Jeff and bands like Shonen Knife and Melt-Banana.

Anyway, here's a bit more about AKB48 and their impact locally. That is, in Hamamatsu, Shizuoka prefecture.

At the beginning of the week, I usually ask my students what they did over the weekend. Standard stuff, and they're no doubt bored as hell by it by now. One of my classes consists of three kids from three different local high schools. Here's what happened Tuesday, in a semi-screenplay format:

ME: And what did you do last weekend?

GIRL (big smile): I went to karaoke... with my friends.

ME: How many people went?

GIRL (thinks for a moment): Three people.

ME: Wow, cool, fun! What songs did you sing?

(A barely audible, all-in-Japanese discussion between the GIRL and the one GUY in the class ensues. She wants to know what I'm asking and this is the safest, quickest way to find out. The GUY explains.)

GIRL (smiling again, still not sure she understands, but willing to do her best to answer): AKB.

ME: AKB48? Do you like AKB48?

GIRL (laughing because she's surprised I know what AKB48 is and possibly because the answer to such a stupid question should already be obvious): YES!

Unfortunately for her, a quick quiz determined she was the only AKB48 fan in the room. But outside the classroom, she's not alone.

Hot Tub Time with Pink Lady...

2010-01-21T16:37:00.000-08:00

I must warn you. Should you choose to watch this video, it will blow your mind. Into a billion pieces. And there's no guarantee any amount of psychotherapeutic rehabilitation will restore your reasoning capacity to full function. As you journey deeper into it, your surroundings will become increasingly surreal, and you'll lose the reality you once knew and believed in so fervently, lost in a fog of the increasingly bizarre until like some dark secret the weirdness enters you and lives there in the shattered palace of your mind, a ruined king on a broken throne.

And yet I do recommend you watch it.

AKB48: They're Not the Coming Thing-- They're Now!

2010-01-21T05:25:00.000-08:00

I don't really know a whole lot about these girls, but they're one of the hottest things going right now here in Japan. So hot, the Asahi Weekly English-language weekly tabloid made them the cover feature over New Year's.

Forgive me if my facts are a little hazy, but here's what I've gathered by a sort of psychic osmosis: AKB48 is an electrically energetic singing/dancing idol group that regularly performs sold-out shows in their own theater in Akihabara. There are approximately one thousand members of AKB48; 800 members and 200 "interns." Their plan is to assault the world with high-energy cuteness, conquer international pop culture and then reign supreme from a solid gold palace located directly atop the South Pole from which they'll broadcast messages of peace and moe.

On a no more serious but hopefully more accurate note, there are actually 51 members in the group's current line-up, in three teams-- A, K and B. Their producer and mastermind, Akimoto Yasushi, has written lyrics for Nakashima Mika and Exile, a couple of evergreen musical acts. Nakashima played Nana in the movie adaptation of the popular shojo manga of the same name. Yasushi began AKB48 in 2005 and they've really hit it big. And it's looking more and more as if 2010 will be their most triumphant year yet.

Because as I learned today, AKB48 is so popular with young people here in Japan several high schools in Hamamatsu now feature teams of girls who have assigned each other AKB48 roles and peform spirited imitations of the group during breaks between classes and at lunch. I learned this from some amused witnesses to the AKB48 phenomenon, which seems to have erupted here almost overnight. One guy told me some girls at his school begged him to write an AKB48-style song for them to sing. Since he's a man of musical integrity, he refused.

He did admit, however, he'd write one for the real AKB48 if they asked. I wanted to know why.

"Because I could write a better song than the ones they have now," he replied. I haven't heard any of his songs, but I agree completely. He also feels while all the AKB48 girls are cute, there are just too darned many of them.

The girls I talked to said they enjoy their friends' AKB48 imitations, but they themselves have no interest in participating. They also said they have no intention of ever auditioning for the real AKB48.

"It's not my kind of thing," one told me. The other is starting to get into Ozzy Osbourne, so I'm guessing she feels the same way.

Anyway, if you're a Japanophile, you're going to be hearing a lot about AKB48. You probably have already!

Pink Lady and Jeff: A Retro Blast-From-the-Past Look Back at a TV Classic!

2010-01-20T18:32:00.000-08:00

I still find it hard to believe this show even existed. I tell people about it here and they're like, "Get out of here! No-- get out of Japan and go back to America. Right now. Before I kill you."

First big mistake: "Welcome to Pink Lady... starring Jeff Altman." Second big mistake: mispronouncing Mie's name. Not a mistake: Blondie as a guest.

What Does SMAP Fear? What Are We Listening to in Japan?

2010-01-16T22:30:00.000-08:00

I don't know. According to this article in the Japan Times, it may or may not be Arashi. I know little about SMAP beyond Katori Shingo, who I think is a hilarious and talented comedian when he's not singing and dancing-- good enough to host America's long-running Saturday Night Live and blow its castmembers off the stage. And I know even less about Arashi except they're running ahead of the pack in terms of popularity when I ask my kid students who they like these days.

In fact, out of three kids Friday, Arashi got unanimous approval, the first time this has happened as far as I can remember. It seems in the past, Kat-Tun would garner a vote, or someone I'd never heard of at all, someone so mysterious to me, I'd be forced to just smile, nod and say, "Great!" in response because I wouldn't even know how to pronounce the group's name.

When I first moved here, I taught a lot of college students and they were all into Bump of Chicken.

Right now, it seems only one person would list SMAP as her favorite and she graduated high school two years ago and only comes to visit during her holidays, if she has time. We have one young woman who goes to every Glay concert she can with her mom. The high school girls seem to be mostly into Exile and the junior high kids and younger like Arashi. One guy likes Love Psychedelico.

No one's heard of any of the groups I'm into, which include 5678s, OOIOO, Boredoms, Melt-Banana, Spookey, Puffy, Blue Hearts, Shonen Knife, Electric Eel Shock and Asian Kung Fu Generation. We had one young rocker who likes American punk/pop-punk who started to get into Go!Go!7188, another favorite of mine-- but she's one of the very few people I've met in Hamamatsu who had even heard of them.

Everyone else seems to like J-Pop-- Hamasaki Ayumi remains on top, and sometimes people cite Amuro Namie as being "pretty" but don't seem too into her music-- or else hip-hop. Lots of young hip-hop fans in Japan. And every once in a while, someone will mention Southern All Stars.

So my expert advice to SMAP is to stay the course, guys. Especially you, Shingo.

Puffy News!

2010-01-02T03:30:00.000-08:00

You may think of me as some kind of hardcore noise enthusiast, and that's certainly the case. But I also have a taste for... tasty pop-rock sounds. The Beatles, the Beach Boys, Kirsty MacColl and the like. Also Puffy, known in the US as Puffy AmiYumi because of legal issues with Sean "Puffy" Combs.

2011 will be Puffy AmiYumi's 15th anniversary, and to celebrate they're starting their first fan club. I think it's their first; I'm inferring such from Ami's blog entry about the club. It's hard to believe they would have neglected to form one before now, but them's the breaks.

Puffy AmiYumi also have a New Year's video message for you.

The Plastics: Making Me Wish I'd Come to Japan in the Late 70s!

2009-12-28T16:46:00.000-08:00

I vaguely remember seeing this band on SCTV many years ago. Back then most musical acts on SCTV stupefied me with boredom as they interrupted the flow of comedy. But some-- Wendy O. Williams and the Plasmatics-- frightened/fascinated me. The Plastics must have made some impression because here I am in Japan almost 30 years later.

Actually, this band no longer existed by 1982 when their video for "Top Secret Man" appeared on SCTV during a bizarre segment called "Midnight Video Special" where Rick Moranis' video deejay character Gerry Todd does technological battle with Dave Thomas' borderline offensive Tim Ishimuni. Perhaps Tim Ishimuni is totally offensive nowadays; back then we were idiots but we had great music. Of course, this episode also featured the Johnny LaRue-hosted "All Girl Friday Night Pajama Party." LaRue is another major life influence, perhaps not quite equal to Pink Lady and Shonen Knife but important nevertheless.

No more crane shots, LaRue!

EDIT: RAB linked this in the comments and it MUST be added to this post:

This Is What Christmas Looks Like in Tokyo...

2009-12-09T17:35:00.000-08:00

Specifically, Shibuya and Ginza. Someone made this neat little video and while I can't fully endorse their choice of music, it does seem to fit the Japanese Christmas spirit somehow. The person who made this video has a fine eye for detail, and zeroes in on some choice imagery to truly express the way Japanese Christmas feels.

Check out the Salvation Army members at 2:52! We had some here in Hamamatsu in 2004, but I haven't seen any since.

It's interesting for me personally to see these familiar sights through someone else's eyes. In this case, we seem to be struck by many of the same things. It's kind of a shame none of my friends or family ever made the trip across the Pacific to walk through these colorful, energetic venues with me. But through the magic of YouTube, we can share a musical glimpse. Enjoy the Christmas magic, Tokyo style!

Christmas Season is in Full Swing in Japan...

2009-12-08T15:45:00.000-08:00

That's Maeda Aki, future star of Battle Royale and Linda, Linda, Linda, doing a Japanese version of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town." Maeda Aki is still bouncing around in film and TV work.

Meanwhile, downtown Hamamatsu is decorated with holiday lights and Christmas songs blare from the outdoor speakers on Yuraku-gai and along Kajimachi-dori. The giant tree at Entetsu department store puts on its nightly performance of ever-changing lights and festive songs. KFC is doing brisk business and so are all the baked good shops offering Christmas cakes. Even the bowl-bearing cat in front of the stationery store not far from our school is wearing a Santa costume.

Why is Christmas so popular in Japan, where only about 1% of the population are Christians? I have no idea. Maybe it has something to do with the Japanese love for cute things and shopping. The secular traditions of Christmas-- Santa, Christmas trees, novelty songs and bargain sales-- certainly push those two buttons. While New Year's celebrations in Japan seem closer in spirit to my family's Christmas observations, Christmas here is merely a fun time for lovers to go on romantic dates and exchange gifts bathed in the splendor of holiday illuminations. Everyone looks pretty in new winter clothes under the lights.

Another thing: It's also bounen-kai season here. Bounen-kai are "forget the year" parties, a time to get properly shit-faced and put aside all the lousy, stinking things that happened to you over the past twelve months. You know-- six day work-weeks, spending hours daily on a crowded Yamanote line train, getting up at 5am to make lunch bento for your kids, coming down with the "new flu," H1N1. If you work for a company or are a college student in a club or have lots of friends, you'll probably have more bounen-kai than you can safely attend in December. I know of one older guy-- a real party animal-- who had two on consecutive nights, took Saturday off and then had another on Sunday.

You'll have no trouble forgetting a year when ending it in a series of alcoholic black-outs.

Kitano Takeshi's Brilliant Ending to Zatoichi

2009-12-01T19:15:00.000-08:00

Why not? The updated Rutger Hauer version, Blind Fury (1989), was on TV here in Japan the other night.

It's Always Fun When Peter Payne's Blog Updates Overlap My Own Experiences...

2009-11-19T16:35:00.001-08:00

Peter Payne has a fun entry on his J-List Side Blog about Brad Pitt's recent appearance on Bistro SMAP, the talk show where members of SMAP cook for their guests. Read his entry, because it has a screen cap from the show featuring Pitt and his partner-in-crime, Quentin Tarantino. You will also learn the meaning of SMAP, which came as a surprise to me.

It's an acronym! Who knew? Probably lots of people. But not me.

Anyway, Pitt's appearance on Bistro SMAP must have been a big hit, because it was mentioned to me on three separate occasions this week. Usually I have to interrogate people viciously to get even the slightest mention of something they did recently or watched on TV. It's almost as if these things are state secrets. But Brad Pitt on Bistro SMAP?

That's something to talk about freely!

One of our movie buff girls discussed it and actually mentioned Tarantino. That's what she called him-- simply Tarantino. She smiled and added, "He talks... A LOT." That was my cue to launch into my world famous Quentin Tarantino impression (although I didn't do the weird lip thing he does because I didn't want to frighten away the students). I talked in a Tarantino-esque voice about how great and cool Japanese movies are, spewing it out rapid-fire with no pauses even to breathe for close to thirty seconds.

She's right, by the way.

I didn't do the Norm MacDonald version. MacDonald's is brilliant, but I believe in making a character your own and not doing some other person's take. So yes, I do a Quentin Tarantino impression which I think is quite good, aided by my slight resemblance to him. The giggles greeting my little performance made it worth the effort. I find that ESL students, especially here in Japan, tend to worry about speaking speed and find demonstrations of lightning fast American-style English to be hilarious and frightening simultaneously.

It's like a magic trick involving fire. How did he do that? Do I still have my eyebrows?

This is probably one reason the students are usually afraid to tell me these things.

When You Want Good Food, Go to Tokyo!

2009-11-19T16:09:00.001-08:00

The newest Michelin Guide awards more three-star ratings to restaurants in Tokyo than in any other world city. More even than in Paris. That's barely scratching the surface, because there are thousands upon thousands of restaurants in Tokyo.

I'm sure that's true of any city of equivalent size. But I'm from a small town so having access to this many eateries blows my little provincial mind. I wonder how long it would take you to eat at every restaurant in Tokyo if you ate three meals a day and never repeated. Could you do it in a few years? Would it take a lifetime?

Someone should make the attempt and blog their experiences. As for me, I'd be happy just hitting a few of these three-star culinary superstars before I die.

Hamamatsu-jo

2009-11-15T17:53:00.000-08:00

This is a video by Hiroshi Hiyashi (I don't know him personally but if he happens to read this, I want to tell him great job!) of Hamamatsu Castle. Hamamatsu Castle is a reconstruction of the original castle and it sits within a park not far from downtown Hamamatsu. Hamamatsu-jo is known as the "Castle of Success" because its rulers each went on to illustrious careers. Most prominent among these is Tokugawa Ieyasu, who completed the unification of Japan and established the Tokogawa bakufu, the shogunate dynasty that ruled Japan for about 265 years. The park features a large field that's popular for frisbee tossing, soccer ball kicking and baseball tossing... and the ever-popular hanami, or cherry blossom viewing picnic.

There's a carp pond, shady garden paths and even an art museum within the park. When the weather's pleasant, Hamamatsu Castle is a relaxing place to spend an afternoon.

The castle was the first touristy spot I visited on my very first trip to Japan way back in 2003. My friend Mike and I were still a bit jet-lagged but I was definitely feeling the excitement of having fulfilled a lifelong dream-- visiting Japan. We got lost looking for the castle, turning back at one point; a few years later I learned we were mere yards from the park entrance and there would have been no way to miss it if we hadn't psyched ourselves out.

I'm not a believer in destiny or fate, but I do enjoy coincidences. We came to Hamamatsu because we have friends here, without knowing the Tokugawa connection. Since my interest in Tokugawa Ieyasu-- extending back into my childhood-- was one of the reasons I initially came to Japan, it was thrilling to learn I was beginning my personal journey here in a place where he had some of his earliest successes.

Melt-Banana: "Green Eyed Devil"

2009-11-01T17:09:00.000-08:00

Here's someone's energetic but unfortunately blurry video of Melt-Banana performing their song "Green Eyed Devil" from their 2007 album Bambi's Dilemma.

Their newest sound sensation, Melt-Banana Lite Live Ver 0.0, hits November 3rd. The smart kids are already lining up at the record stores.

Melt-Banana is Now in the US!

2009-11-01T16:56:00.000-08:00

According to their MySpace blog, Melt-Banana is in San Diego and marveling at the number of In-N-Out Burger restaurants there. Perhaps this video has something to do with their hamburger fascination:

If they come to your town-- or within driving distance-- you really should go see them. But don't tell them I sent you. They don't know me from Ronald McDonald.

Spookey Month: The Last Spookey Video!

2009-10-31T17:13:00.000-07:00

And we wrap up our Spookey Month celebration with this blurry video of Hamamatsu's own punk trio Spookey. Happy Halloween, world!

Spookey Month: This Is Halloween's Big Year in Japan!

2009-10-29T18:55:00.000-07:00

I thought so. Ever since the Hamamatsu Freshness Burger restaurants decorated for Halloween in the middle of September, I had this inkling the autumnal winds of my favorite scary holiday were a-blowin' throughout Japan. Now the Japan Times has a news story confirming my suspicions.

And I couldn't be happier about it. This is much better than the screwed-up version of Valentine's Day that's prevalent here-- women have to give men chocolate on February 14th; it's obligatory in some cases! Everyone can enjoy the ghoulish fun of Halloween equally.

But this new emphasis on Halloween didn't stop workmen from erecting the giant Christmas tree at Entetsu Department store last week. Nor did it stop them from putting blue lights on the trees along Kajimachi-dori downtown. And Col. Sanders was wearing his Santa costume at KFC as of last Wednesday. Hey, I love Christmas too, but one holiday at a time, please!

Spookey Month: Junior High Students Tell Ghost Stories

2009-10-29T16:52:00.000-07:00

Junior high and ghost stories seem to go together here in Japan. I was looking on YouTube for some clips of this old TV drama from the 1990s about junior high kids investigating ghosts and the supernatural, but found this instead-- an English class project where the students narrate ghost stories in English, with clever visual effects. Fantastic job by one and all!

And now here's a short clip of a ghost story involving junior high kids, directed by Shimizu Takashi, who also directed the Ju-on (Grudge) series. It's called "Katasumi" and features the first appearance of Fuji Takako, who would play the ghost in almost all the Ju-on films:

Lessons learned? First, never fulfill your obligations and certainly don't complain about having to do so. And second, never leave your injured friend alone by the rabbit hutches.

Spookey Month: Teke-Teke, the Woman Who Runs on Her Elbows

2009-10-28T17:07:00.000-07:00

She has to run on her elbows. She doesn't have legs. Teke-Teke is another in our ghastly catalog of modern Japanese horrors. Once a normal woman, a railroad accident in Hokkaido cost her her lower body and now she wants to cut you in half as well. Teke-Teke crawls across Japan on her elbows, making the sound which provides her name: teke-teke-teke-teke-teke-teke.

If you hear this story (or perhaps if you merely read it... sorry...), within three days you will see Teke-Teke's lower half wandering around. I don't know if Teke-Teke's legs also have a name or if they do anything sinister. Teke-Teke herself preys on schoolchildren. And like many other Japanese ghosts, she inspired not one but two horror movies:

In the movie, she goes after high school kids; they make inviting targets for movie studios too!

The fun and informative site Scary For Kids also mentions a variation on Teke-Teke, the unfortunate Kashima Reiko. Kashima Reiko is another of those ubiquitous school toilet ghosts of Japan.

I don't know why Japanese school bathrooms attract the supernatural; perhaps there's something about the energy fields here in Japan and various social anxieties surrounding body functions in relation to bathrooms lead to psychic manifestations-- malevolent ones, indeed. Japan is a land haunted by many yokai and oni, so it may be that school bathrooms represent easy pickings to some of the nastier spirits here.

Whatever her motivation for haunting school bathrooms, poor Kashima Reiko lost her legs in an auto accident and now hangs out in toilet stalls where she waits for someone so she can ask them, "Where are my legs?" If you give her the wrong answer, she tears off one of your legs. There are different answers you can give her if she asks you. One is to say, "At Meishin Expressway." She'll then ask, "Who told you that?"

Just tell her, "Kashima Reiko told me that."

Spookey Month: Shonen Knife's "It's a New Find"

2009-10-25T19:38:00.000-07:00

The legendary Shonen Knife, one of my favorite-ist bands of all. This song is full of good advice.

And apparently, Shonen Knife are playing a Halloween show somewhere. Lucky you if you're going to it!

Spookey Month: I Have No Idea What This Is...

2009-10-23T20:08:00.001-07:00

Who is she? She's delightful. She's mysterious. This video has a dreamlike David Lynchian quality that's perfect for Halloween. Do you like Shinjuku? Do you know Shinjuku?

Yes to both questions.

Spookey Month: My Melt-Banana Video... Again!

2009-10-21T18:20:00.000-07:00

Because you just can't get enough Melt-Banana in your morning banana diet, here's the video I accidentally made last August at O-Nest. I thought I was simply taking a photo, but I'd switched my digital camera to the wrong setting. Amazingly, I didn't twitch too badly when I realized I was video recording.

Spookey Month is all about Halloween and my favorite Japanese bands.

Spookey Month: Oh, Look, It's Tomie! And Tomie!

2009-10-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

Tomie. So lovely. Too beautiful to live, too immortal to die. Or... something like that. This is the trailer for the 1999 Japanese horror film Tomie, based on the grisly manga series by Ito Junji. Like Tomie's various body parts, the Tomie films have taken on a life of their own, the most recent being 2007's Tomie vs Tomie.

Isn't this trailer creepy? I think it's the semi-documentary presentation of the street scene with a farty electronica soundtrack. The furtive, anonymous guy with the mysterious bag and his protective reaction when the other man bumps him. If you're familiar with the Tomie stories-- as I am-- you don't need to see the denouement in order to feel gooseflesh. You already know what's in the bag and why he's so concerned...

The manga stories are generally set in high schools, though. Not having seen this film, I'm not sure how closely it follows the comic's very loose storyline. I don't remember Tomie kissing any girls-- in the stories she's aggressively hetero-- but in 1999, why not? A decade before Katy Perry and a billion YouTube videos of drunk suburban kids made girl-girl kisses aimed at impressing heterosexual boys blandly mainstream and even cliche, they were a sure-fire way to label your protagonist as dangerously transgressive. From expression of love to movie trope to cynical marketing scheme to lame attention-getting ploy in just ten years. That's progress for ya!

Tomie has been played by a number of young women over the years beginning with Kanno Miho. I'm loathe to cite Wikipedia, but their Tomie films article has this gem:

Tomie is played by a different actress in each film, and the role is as coveted by Japanese actresses as Emmanuelle is in France.

That really puts Tomie in perspective, huh? That's the best comparison you could come up with, Anonymous Wiki Contributor?

This is what happens when you let just any idiot edit your encyclopedia. Taken at face value, it may even be true. Just as porn actors covet parts in sleazy porn movies, many of us covet a lot of stupid-ass things as much as certain Japanese actors covet the role of Tomie, but most of us are sensible enough not to use our desires for crap as a basis for comparison. For example, "Tomie is played by a different actress in each film, and the role is as coveted by Japanese actresses as a cheeseburger is by me at lunch."

Also true, but no less ludicrous.

I want to see this added to the entry on the James Bond film series: "James Bond has been played by a number of different actors, and the role is as coveted by British and American actors as Emmanuelle is in France."

Notice how the statement is also unattributed. The only time you'll ever find a reference to the parts of Tomie and Emmanuelle being somehow equivalent in status is in the mixed-up mind of that particular Wiki editor. You won't find it in a quote from any of the Japanese actors who have played Tomie.

Nothing like third Tomie Sakai Miki telling the Mainichi Shimbun, "I wanted to be Tomie as much as I'm sure any French actor has wanted to be Emmanuelle. In fact, whenever we compare the desire for any part here in Japan, our standard of reference is Emmanuelle. Even though we have no idea who or what the hell Emmanuelle is."

Note to Wikipedia-- you might want to edit that sentence into something non-idiotic.

Tomie vs Tomie's Tomie looks the most like the comic Tomie as far as I'm concerned. They even gave her Tomie's little beauty mark, just below her left eye:

Spookey Month: Battle Royale

2009-10-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

Someone put the first 8 or so minutes of the infamous dystopian sci-fi/horror flick Battle Royale on YouTube, but I'm not going to link it here. Go check it out for yourself. Or, better yet, go rent or buy the DVD. Right now. Watch it in its entirety, then come back here and read this blog post. Or read the blog post, then go watch it. Either way is fine by me.

Adapted from a novel by Takami Koshun and directed by Fukusaku Kenji, Battle Royale tells the story of a junior high class taken (along with two sinister ringers) by the government to an island and forced to kill each other off until only one remains-- the "winner." Both the novel and the film have engendered quite a bit of controversy over the ensuing years, but they also have their share of cult followers, of which I happen to be one. More so of the movie; the book left me kind of cold.

The movie stars the invincible master-of-all-trades Kitano Takeshi, otherwise known as "Beat" Takeshi; this guy is omnipresent on Japanese TV hosting various shows, teaching filmmaking, writing art criticism, making his own movies. A universal genius who's seemingly tireless. It also features Maeda Aki, Shibasaki Kou and Kuriyama Chiaki in key roles. Maeda plays Noriko, the perennial outsider and nice girl who becomes the story's co-protagonist. Shibasaki is Mitsuko, one of the many villains in the story, a crazed bad girl who decides to play the game to the hilt. And Kuriyama is Takako, an athletic and somewhat independent gal whose vanity proves at least one luckless kid's undoing... and her own.

Shibasaki and Kuriyama impressed Quentin Tarantino so much he wrote parts for them in Kill Bill; unfortunately, Shibasaki was unable to participate.

Her fight with Uma Thurman's character would no doubt have been the stuff of cult film legend. As it stands, Kuriyama does the honors, basically playing an even more insane variation of Shibasaki's Battle Royale character.

The movie's full of cheesy moments and nagging plot holes. How does a junior high teacher become an official in the BR program? If the result of each year's battle is such a media frenzy, why don't the students know anything about it? And while most of the young actors were actually teenagers, few of them look nearly young enough to be junior high kids. Not even Kuriyama Chiaki, who was-- as incredible as it may seem now-- only about 15 or 16 years old when she made this movie:

But flaws aside, it's the little moments that make Battle Royale such a pleasure. Maeda's awkward outsider's charm-- at the movie's start, no one bothers to tell her the entire class is taking the day off-- and the way silent killer Kiriyama (Ando Masanobu) uses a megaphone to broadcast a dying girl's final squeals to her friends on the island:

And then we have the "Lighthouse Girls," a group of cheerful, popular students who set up a peaceful little society in an abandoned lighthouse. All the best of friends, their plan to somehow escape the game ends tragically when paranoia and secret jealousies erupt in a close-quarter gunfight:

But don't worry. Shibasaki, Maeda and Kuriyama are all still alive, doing well. They're always popping up in movies, TV dramas, on magazine covers or simply wearing gorgeous blouses in the fashion spreads within. But I'll always remember their desperate 48-hour stint on some nameless island off the coast of Japan where they dared ask-- and answer-- the question, "Could you kill your best friend?"

Spookey Month: Former Prime Minster Koizumi Junichiro's Silver Mane to Inspire Ultraman to Greater Heights of Heroism

2009-10-16T19:12:00.001-07:00

It's not very frightening news-- unless you're completely phobic about controversial and charismatic retired prime ministers-- but Koizumi Junichiro will provide the voice for Ultraman King, mentor of the Ultras, in the upcoming release Dai-Kaiju Battle: Ultra Ginga Densetsu, The Movie (Great Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy Legend, The Movie).

This is, if its title is to be believed, a movie of some sort. I'm guessing it features monster battles. Perhaps even great ones.

In other entertainment news, Mr. Koizumi's incredible swept-back hair has been signed to a multi-album deal by SonyMusic.

Spookey Month: Anatomical Monstrosities of Japan!

2009-10-15T18:57:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what Gamera and Godzilla look like underneath their skin? Wonder no more!

Spookey Month: Kappa, Kitsune and Tanuki

2009-10-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

Kappa are some sort of spirits or creatures that live in various bodies of water here in Japan. They're generally small, have physical features such as turtle shells and web hands and feet, are sometimes helpful... and are always polite.

This can come in handy. For a kappa also has a bowl-shaped depression on top of its head. It's filled with water and is the source of the kappa's power on land. If you meet a malicious kappa, one way to defeat it is to bow deeply. The etiquette-happy kappa will feel compelled to return the bow, spilling its head-water and becoming quite helpless.

Kappa are a mixed lot. They're credited with teaching the Japanese the medicinal art of setting broken bones, but also frequently steal children to eat them. Interesting trade off, huh? Kappa are also known for their delicious kaiten-zushi, or conveyor belt sushi. In downtown Hamamatsu, there is a homeless man sometimes found sitting on a bucket in front of the 7-11 on Yuraku-gai; he has a large domed head fringed with hair and bears the nickname "Kappa."

Kitsune are magical foxes. Like foxes in Western folklore, kitsune are tricksters. Highly intelligent, they sometimes assume human form, usually that of a bewitchingly beautiful young woman. In this guise, they sometimes marry mortal men. Kitsune have been known to possess people; again, usually young women.

Rain while the sun shines is known in Japan as kitsune-no yome-iri, or the "fox's wedding." Master filmmaker Kurosawa Akira includes a striking fox wedding in his film Yume (Dreams):

This proves unfortunate:

Tanuki, or "raccoon dog," is another magical Japanese animal spirit. Like the kitsune, tanuki are shapeshifters. They are frequently mischievous, but at least one was downright malicious-- this wicked tanuki clubbed an old woman to death and made her into soup which he then served to the woman's husband.

But most tanuki are relatively harmless, preferring a life of alcoholism and gluttony. Tanuki are also known for their oversized scrotums, referred to as kintama. Sometimes these scrotums are larger than the tanuki itself.

I first learned of tanuki from Tom Robbins' delightful novel Villa Incognito, part of which is set around the Lake Biwa region of Japan. This novel features a young woman who may or may not be descended from a tanuki. Japanese noise band Melt-Banana has a song called "Chicken Headed Racoon Dog;" it wasn't until after I read the Robbins novel I realized the song was about a tanuki... sort of. Tanuki statues are a fairly common sight around Japan. They and their magical scrotums typically stand in front of restaurants or shops to invite commerce and prosperity. Sing it now:

Tan-Tan-Tanuki no kintama wa
Kaze mo nai no ni
Bura bura bura

(Tan-tan-tanuki's balls
there isn't any wind
but still they swing swing swing)

Spookey Month: Have a Cosplay Halloween!

2009-10-12T16:53:00.001-07:00

Sure, you can drag out last year's Sarah Palin costume. Or be zombie Michael Jackson... just like those other 3000 people you'll see Halloween night wearing that costume. The Scooby Gang? Yawn. It's been done. The Simpsons? How 1991. Why not do something different this year?

Why not cosplay for Halloween? J-List has a ton of ready-made cosplay outfits and accessories from manga and anime like Hell Girl (perfect for this holiday), Inuyasha, Evangelion, Naruto and Bleach. I'm not trying to get you to buy from them-- just to check them out for some cool ideas. There are lots of cosplay suppliers online to choose from. What I mostly want you to do is just look at how cute and cool the models on J-List look.

Doesn't that inspire you? No?

Okay then. How about this?

Spookey Month: More Spookey For You. And You.

2009-10-11T17:46:00.001-07:00

Spookey rocks the Devo glasses in Berlin.

Yesterday was the 3rd Annual Yaramaika Music Festival here in Hamamatsu. Bands played in various locations around town-- the station, Zaza City, in front of the former Joshin store and others. I watched a little rock combo do a credible cover of the Bill Haley and the Comets 50s chestnut "Rock Around the Clock" followed by Elvis' "Can't Help Falling in Love With You." Full-on katakana pronunciation made them a lot more interesting than any versions by someone like me would have been.

Some bands on the schedule: Boogie Woogie TINA, BLUE STONE, Vio Ray, GlayBerklee, Elephant Flow, MOJO KINGS, CLAYCLAW-AKIRA, Place In The Sun, FromSnowFlow, Heart Warm Company, THE BILLY ON DOLLARS, @mikan', Shiny Gospel Singers, ICE CREAM CAKE and-- my favorite-- Masturbation Love Session.

But no Spookey.

Saturday saw performances by various junior high and high school brass bands down at the station. I watched a large band consisting of about 40 sailor-uniformed girls and one uniformed boy (smartest kid in his school, evidently) doing a lively take on the Bill Conti classic "Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky)," complete with towel-waving choreography. Pretty neat!

Spookey Month: More TsuShiMaMiRe

2009-10-09T23:50:00.000-07:00

It's TsuShiMaMiRe again. I'm loving this band, especially when the singer/guitarist botches the lyrics and cracks up at her own mistake. Someone down in the comments on YouTube claims she says, "Baka da ne" under her breath. Under the giggles.

There are so many great bands in Japan.

And thanks to the person who shot this video and posted it. Or people.

Spookey Month: TsuShiMaMiRe

2009-10-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

Wow! Here's another all-girl rock band from Japan. I was looking for more Spookey on YouTube and came across this. TsuShiMaMiRe. My first experience hearing them and they rock. Oh how they rock.

"Ebihara Shinji" the song is named after Ebihara Shinji the man. During their earliest days, like a lot of Japanese bands, TsuShiMaMiRe played street lives. These are performances... well... on the street. You can sometimes see bands doing this around Shinjuku Station and in other places in Tokyo. Or even here in Hamamatsu from time to time.

On this particular day, their first ever street live, TsuShiMaMiRe faced a thunderstorm, which meant their audience consisted of but one homeless man. And that man was Ebihara Shinji.

Part of my mission here during this Spookey Month celebration is not only to explore the mysterious and supernatural aspects of living in Japan, but also the musical. To uncover sounds that are new to my ear via my fannishness for Spookey. Here's one instance where it's already paid off!

Spookey Month: A Wild and Windy Night!

2009-10-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

The first typhoon to make landfall in Japan in two years came ashore in Aichi prefecture, just west of Shizuoka, at 5am this morning. One man was killed while delivering newspapers, and 24 others suffered various injuries. JR officials halted some shinkansen lines and airports in affected areas cancelled flights.

We had lashings of rain and strong winds preceding the storm here in Hamamatsu last night, so much so my A/C unit made popping noises as the outside vent cap flapped up and down in the gusts. It was definitely the kind of night you'd expect oni or yokai to be abroad, wandering about and spreading terror and bad luck. This morning, we have broken cloud cover and just a bit of blue peeking through.

Spookey Month: More Spookey!

2009-10-07T17:38:00.000-07:00

The wonders of YouTube. Once again, this is Spookey. Spookey is an all-girl punk trio from Hamamatsu, Japan. They're not scary, just cool.

Spookey Month: Japanese Ghost Videos and Photos

2009-10-06T16:39:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a photo developed and discovered something surprising in the background? The undead or a spirit from the other side, for example?

These kinds of stories show up on Japanese TV every once in a while. Last year around New Year's, while I was staying in a Tokyo hotel, I watched a fun documentary about unexplained phenomena around the world and in Japan; UFOs and the like. The best part was the bit on ghosts appearing in the backgrounds of amateur videos and snapshots. The host was the multi-talented and omnipresent Kitano Takeshi. His celebrity guests really got into the ghost segment, squealing, oohing and ahhing, and laughing at some of the more obvious fakes. During a video of a hip hop dancer practicing his moves outside around sunset the camera revealed what appeared to be a severed head lying behind one of the concrete planters behind him.

Kitano snickered and said, "That's not a ghost. That's a homeless guy sleeping back there!"

Some of the video clips in the YouTube offering I'm linking here today are from Japanese TV dramas-- hey, if you accidentally capture a crew member in the background of one of your shots, it's a sign of incompetence, not supernatural intervention.

A popular "ghost" image is the unexpected hand. You see them eerily protruding from figures in the photographs. I saw one where a hand pokes out from between the sweaty thighs of a soccer player. There are probably plenty of people who would like to get their hands into exactly that position. But during a match? Another shows a hand on top of the head of a Chinese national team basketball player during a game. Most of these I discount as either optical illusions or outright fakes.

Lock the door as twilight falls. Dim the lights. And check out the creepy video and decide for yourself which are which. But beware... for those of you with a sensitive nature, perhaps more attuned to the sinister forces lurking just beyond the ordinary in our universe, some of these photos may prove... quite unsettling.

Spookey Month: Rokurokubi, the Ultimate Rubber-Necker

2009-10-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

Rokurokubi are a type of oni (demon) with the appearance of ordinary women. They may even marry and live completely blameless lives during the day. At night, however, they reveal their true nature-- their heads rise as their necks stretch to impossible lengths. These snake-like necks allow the heads to swirl about and appear around corners when least expected.

Which is what the rokurokubi enjoy most of all. Being oni, they love to scare ordinary mortals. They also like to spy, which is only natural when your neck allows your head to roam independently of its body. You can probably find all kinds of weird hiding places for eavesdropping or windows to peer into and find out everything there is to know about your friends and neighbors.

I'm not sure how dangerous rokurokubi are, or if they have any supernatural powers beyond stretching their necks. In the film clip, the rokurokubi doesn't actually do much to either of the men. She just swirls around on her neck stalk, cackling, and they keel over from fright. I thought at one point she was going to go anaconda on that one jerk-ass and squeeze him to death, but no.

A missed opportunity.

Sure, rokurokubi enjoy shocking people. But I've known non-rokurokubi who delighted in doing the same and with much less justification. They certainly seem less frightening than Kuchisake-onna, who wants to kill you. Perhaps rokurokubi depend primarily on surprise or their victim's weak stomach. If you don't have much a problem with a rokurokubi's bizarre appearance, you can probably get away easily.

Or make a new friend. Or hire her to work for your company; she may come in handy in matters of corporate espionage.

Spookey Month: Kuchisake-onna, the Slit-Mouthed Woman

2009-10-04T17:34:00.000-07:00

I love urban legends, and I especially love them when they deal with ghosts.

A while back I did an entry about Toire no Hanako-san. You know, the tale of the ghost Hanako, who haunts a particular bathroom stall in a school somewhere here in Japan. With Halloween coming up this month, I want to write a few entries about supernatural Japan and with Hanako-san already out of the way, it's time to turn to Kuchisake-onna, the woman with the big smile.

About a week ago, during a discussion of Halloween and ghost stories, a student laughingly reminded me of Kuchisake-onna. While it's fun to read about Japanese ghost lore, it's even more fun to have someone here actually tell you a story. Somehow that makes it seem more authentic, more real. And, like all good Japanese ghost stories, there's a movie version:

Kuchisake-onna is a strange apparition-- according to lore, on some foggy night she may approach you wearing a surgical mask. That in itself isn't so strange. People wearing surgical masks are a common sight here, especially these days when everyone's talking about the "new influenza."

But you can tell you're dealing with Kuchisake-onna when, instead of merely passing by and going about her business, she stops you and asks you, "Am I beautiful?" The correct answer, of course, is, "Yes!" To make absolutely certain, Kuchisake-onna will then remove her mask...

Revealing a grinning mouth that stretches from ear to ear, full of wickedly sharp teeth.

"Am I beautiful, even like this?" she'll ask. And here's where it gets tricky.

Obviously, you don't want to say, "No." This is Kuchisake-onna and she will rip you to shreds instantly. You might think to answer, "Yes" again. But this only buys you a short reprieve. Because the Japanese word for pretty is kirei, which sounds a bit like kire, meaning "to cut," Kuchisake-onna will follow you home and slice you into little pieces right in front of your own house. You also shouldn't try to run away without answering, because Kuchisake-onna is a sprinter who makes Usain Bolt look he's like running underwater. She can cover 100 meters in 3 seconds!

What you want to do is say, "Ma-ma," which is Japanese for "so-so." Or tell her she's average. This pleases her enough for her to let you go. Another strategy is to ask her if she thinks you're beautiful as well. That really confuses her and gives you time to flee to safety, and perhaps you can exchange keitai information and go shopping together one day and maybe have crepes or om-rice in some cute little restaurant. You might even toss her some fruit. Carry some blueberries or a pineapple whenever you take a walk alone at night as a safety precaution. If you meet her in Shizuoka prefecture, try strawberries-- they're especially popular here.

While this story may date back to the Edo period-- Kuchisake-onna began as an ordinary woman, punished horrifically by her samurai husband for infidelity-- the modern take became popular around 1979, in a version where Kuchisake-onna preyed especially on children. In other versions, an inept plastic surgeon caused her disfigurement, or a motorcycle gang, or an auto accident. She may not kill you, but may instead simply cut you in the same way she is. And she might possibly attack you if you smell of pomade.

Spookey Month: Is This Halloween's Big Breakthrough Year in Japan?

2009-10-02T10:12:00.001-07:00

There's something in the air. Fall mysteries, cool breezes blowing dry leaves (wet today), thinning sunlight and lengthening shadows. Perhaps the land is haunted now. If we had to judge by Freshness Burger in Act City, we might come to a definite conclusion. They put up their Halloween decorations in early September; I'm guessing the Freshness Burger in the station did, too. Of course Toys-R-Us has had Halloween costumes and decorations for sale since then as well. New supermarket Pare Marche has some small "Happy Halloween" banners hung in various locations, including one in the meat section.

I'm not sure how Halloween-y raw cuts of meat are, unless you're planning some kind of cannibal display. Or, better yet, a Halloween cook-out with a lot of friends in costume.

I was a little disappointed not to see Halloween cakes in the refrigerated foods section at Circle-K tonight. Little sweet cream cakes with orange pumpkin shapes were nowhere to be seen. They did, however, have Nightmare Before Christmas Jack and Sally for sale up front. At least Meiji, maker of delicious foods, is getting into the spirit with some helpful Halloween treat recipes and a fall ad campaign featuring Hirosue Ryoko.

As Christmas becomes increasingly popular here, and so does Japan's unique take on Valentine's Day, perhaps Halloween is the next big thing. Why not? Halloween is pure fun-- a few safe scares, a chance to dress in a crazy costume, sweet chocolate candy and black cats, ghosts, vampires, witches and whatever creatures of the night strike your fancy.

Spookey Month: The Literary Ghost Story

2009-10-01T16:34:00.001-07:00

It's October, that haunted month. Here in Japan, we've greeted it this year with a splash of rain. This will soon give way to dry sunny days and cooler temperatures. Today's dreary weather is just perfect for kicking off Spookey Month with a ghost story...

Banana Yoshimoto is one of my favorite writers and has been since I read Kitchen a few years ago. Her spare prose may sometimes seem overly subtle but that only gives it more emotional resonance. The meaning is not only in the text, it's also in what's left unsaid. Hardboiled Hard Luck is my favorite Banana Yoshimoto book, two novellas joined by their similar titles. Hardboiled tells the story of a woman who decides to take a hike in the mountains on her way to a small countryside hotel. At first, the woman is caught up in her observations, rendered by Yoshimoto in delicately understated prose...

And then the story takes an unexpected Lovecraftian turn, complete with an adverb that the old horror master would no doubt find very familiar. The narrator finds herself in a "slightly more remote part of the mountain, beyond the reach of the streetlights" and reports:

I was overcome by an extremely unpleasant sensation. I had the illusion that space had bent itself gelatinously out of shape, so that no matter how long I walked, I would never make any progress.

At this point, Yoshimoto chooses to have the narrator reveal a past, failed relationship with another woman, one who could "see things other people couldn't." She wonders if somehow this supernatural bent has colored her perceptions and describes how their friendship became more intimate and their ultimate break-up. Almost immediately at the conclusion of this expository a passage, she encounters a small mountain shrine, but one lacking Jizo statue, or "any one of the other figures one might expect to find in this place." Despite the flowers and chains of origami cranes, the woman thinks:

Something incredibly evil is resting here -- something that used to live in the vicinity. I'm sure of it.

She feels something heavy and strange in the air, finds a strange grouping of black stones nearby, arranged in a circle and walks away to escape. She thinks of other places she's been where she's felt similar dark or foreboding emotions drifting in the air. She decides:

There are, without doubt, places in this world where something has settled, and it's best for us little humans not to get involved.

Yes, I'm sure H.P. Lovecraft or even Stephen King could tell us a thing or two about such places. I just finished reading King's 'Salem's Lot, where the Marsten House symbolizes just such a place-- a citadel of pure evil brooding over the more banal kind of the small American town below. Yoshimoto's tiny mountain shrine seems connected in space and time with all of these sinister places, but in a more indefinite way. What does it mean?

The woman finally makes it to her hotel and that's where the fun really begins. There's a fire in the local udon shop where she has an unsatisfying dinner. She finds herself feeling empathy with ghosts and after a hot bath, finds herself in their company.

It starts with a series of dreams about that past lover, now named Chizuru. Chizuru prays in a shrine, Chizuru seems more beautiful than in life, but less substantial. After the dreams, the narrator wakes to a knock at her door and meets a naked woman who claims to have been shut out of her room. This leads to an extended flashback where the narrator describes her childhood, and offers more details of her relationship with Chizuru, including the strange detail that Chizuru "always went to bed wearing an array of objects that glowed or lit up," in order to ward of ghosts. During lovemaking, where Chizuru always topped, these objects frequently poked the narrator and hurt her.

After their break-up, she has a final phone conversation with Chizuru and later learns Chizuru died in a fire. You know-- the day before they talked on the phone.

Back in the hotel, the narrator talks with the strange woman, then decides to call the staff and help her. She learns her visitor is actually the ghost of a woman who came to the hotel with her lover to commit suicide together. It's a long, fitful night full of more dreams of Chizuru, hot tea and sympathy from the hotel staff woman. In the morning, the narrator regains some sense of normalcy and closure with Chizuru.

This is a story of deeper emotions hidden just under the surface of Banana Yoshimoto's nuanced prose. I enjoyed especially the narrator's matter-of-fact approach to these strange events, and the way they're intertwined with her unresolved feelings about leaving Chizuru and her guilt at what happened afterwards, paralleled by her unfinished udon and the fire at the restaurant. It's interesting, too, how Yoshimoto involves the hotel staff woman. The narrator hardly has to convince her. The unreal is evidently always close at hand in this rural place with its sinister shrine nearby. Ghosts are real. The ghosts in our lives definitely are.

October is Spookey Month!

2009-09-30T19:40:00.000-07:00

October, the month of Halloween. It's the creepiest, kookiest, scariest month of the year. You might even say it's the spookiest. And the coolest, grooviest band in Hamamatsu is Spookey, the all-girl punk/pop trio that rocks my musical socks lately.

That's why in conjunction with myself over at my comic book blog, When Comic Books Ruled the Earth, I've decided to declare October "Spookey Month."

Spookey shows you how to rock Halloween:

I'll try to keep all my posts here related either to music or to the paranormal aspects of living in Japan. Let's celebrate Spookey and Halloween together, shall we?

"We Hope This Gets You Lai-"

2009-09-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

These guys are awesome. Between this and the Spookey video, my Wednesday is shaping up to be most pleasant. They need their own TV show, including the dog as their sidekick. Now use their advice and go forth and multiply.